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ContactHow Adderall Disrupts the Balance of Romantic Relationships
October 26th, 2009 by MikeThe Pursuer/Distancer Effect
Put simply, the Pursuer/Distancer Effect in a romantic relationship is this: When one person distances (pulls away), it often makes the other person instinctively try to pull them back closer (pursue).
This can apply short-term to the ebb and flow of attraction in single conversation: think of flirting as giving emotion then playfully taking it away, drawing a pursuer’s desire in its wake. The Pursuer/Distancer Effect can also apply long-term to the behavior and underlying needs of two people in a long-term relationship (think of the last time you were totally “whipped” or in other words “in a constant state of pursuit”).
Often, the Pursuer/Distancer Effect spirals in on itself: one person starts distancing, then the second person feels like they are losing them and reacts by trying to pursue, which makes the first person feel smothered and want to distance more, which makes the second person want to pursue more, until the relationship breaks because either the distancer can’t handle the “clinginess” or the pursuer can’t handle the unhealthy stress/emotional distance.
As your memory will probably tell you, it can be agonizing to be on the pursuer side. It’s much easier and less stressful to be on the distancer side because, by definition, you’re not stressing the relationship much on the distancer side…you’re not thinking about it much at all, and that’s what makes you seem distant.
The Pursuer/Distancer Effect also relates to why confidence and independence can be so attractive (because inpendence is in some ways a willingness to distance), and why smothering and dependence can be so repulsive (too much pursuit makes you want to distance). The confident, independant person is always putting off an air of “pushing away” (distancing), which makes everybody else want to pull them closer (to pursue them).
What this means for Adderall and your relationship
Adderall absorbs you in everything around you. Even if you love your partner, when they call you while you’re at work, tweaked out on Adderall, you’re going to say “just let me finish this thing I’m working on.” When you say this, you know it’s just the Adderall talking, but they don’t know that. They take it as you prioritizing work over them….as you having a focus and interest that is separate from them (pushing away, distancing). The other personality symptoms that come with Adderall use, like hyper-confidence and manic self-expressiveness, amplify the distancing effect. You don’t appear to need your partner at all.
In this way, whether you’re aware of it or not, Adderall helps you stay on the distancer side of the pursuer-distancer balance.
Your significant other will have one of two reactions to all of your Adderall-induced “pushing away/distancing”: either it will make them more attracted to you, or it will be too much and make them wish for somebody who could fulfill their emotional needs a little more.
How quitting Adderall shifts the balance
When you quit Adderall, the balance of push vs. pull shifts…you stop “pushing away” all the time…you start needing the other person more. You collapse on them. You spend as much time as possible with them to distract yourself from all the unpleasant work and growth and recovery that suddenly needs to be done.
How your significant other reacts to this reversal depends on where they sat on the push-pull continuum before you quit Adderall. To determine what to expect, ask yourself these two questions:
1. How would your significant other react if you suddenly had to lean on them heavily? Would they welcome it, or be repelled by it?
2. In general, how afraid of losing your significant other are you?
Here are some breakdowns based on potential answers:
They would be repelled + You are very afraid
I usually see this combo when you met the other person after you were already on Adderall. This means the Adderall has allowed you to keep up a push-push balance, but you are secretly the puller in this relationship. When you quit Adderall, you won’t have your smokescreen of workaholism to distract the other person from your need for them and insecure fear of losing them. At first they may enjoy spending a little more time with the “real you”, but soon your dependency will become apparent and it will smoother them. Your relationship will probably not make it through your quitting. It may require a break up, either temporary or permanent.
Your only hope is to warn the other person first. They will be less repelled by your transition if you properly prepared them for it, because they will be able separate the withdrawal from who you actually are, and won’t link the two out of confusion.
They would welcome it + You are very afraid
The healthiest, most hopeful mix. I usually see this in marriages where you’ve started taking Adderall over the course of the marriage and your significant other wants “the old you” back. If you think your significant other would welcome you leaning on them AND you’re very afraid of losing them…that means that on Adderall you have a push-pull, but in reality you have a pull-pull…you both love each other a great deal. That’s a great place to be. You may both come out of this a lot stronger and your significant other can really be your angel.
Even though you’re in the best possible situation, relationship-wise, too quit Adderall with your relationship intact or stronger…do your significant other a favor and warn them first. Have a serious talk about what they can expect and how they can help. Say things like “look, I know you want the old me back, and I’m ready to do that for you because I love you, but it’s not going to be all roses”. If you do it right, they will be quick to take on the role of your angel. They will (properly) associate your withdrawal symptoms with your commitment and love for them. But even the best angels can get impatient with the negative side-effects of quitting. Let them know that it’s going to be a long trek, but that you’ll both be all the stronger on the other side. And be patient with them too.
They would welcome it + You are not too worried about it
Common in dating relationships where you’re not that into the other person to begin with. You like them an all, but you’re not losing sleep over what might happen to the relationship if you quit Adderall…it’s the last thing on your mind. On the other hand, the other person would probably welcome you leaning on them more because they are way more into you than you are into them.
This means you are superpush-pull on Adderall and going to somewhat balance out when you quit. The good news is you don’t have to feel as bad about your lack of feelings for the other person, because you’ll naturally want to lean on them more when you quit Adderall…if only as a convenient distraction. You may discover a lot more that you like about them. You may have a lot more fun. It will be a nice thing for you to have. Maybe something more will even come out of it. Or, maybe you still won’t be that much more attracted to them. Maybe you’ll decide at some point that you need to focus on your growth and that the relationship is too much of a distraction (and not really what you want long-term anyway), so you break up with them. You’ll miss the distraction and the parts of the relationship that you enjoyed, but you won’t be too busted up about.
The way you explained the dynamics of relationships and adderall is very, very accurate – at least the 1st category, which I relate to more than the others. I used adderall for about a year, then last November quit cold turkey. My relationship with my girlfriend kept getting stronger and I became dependent on our conversations, intimacy, and dates for the dopamine rush. Even though I was very sluggish and anxious after quitting, she still liked me better! Probably because of the influx of calls and visits. However, about 2 months ago, I started using adderall again because my grades were dropping almost to the point of suspension. My attitude changed again and we started getting into more fights etc. I became more withdrawn and grew insecure of seeing her because I felt like a crackhead, lost weight, and just looked like crap. Our two year relationship ended on our anniversary.
I’m really confused at this point because I simply can’t achieve the same results off the adderall. My parents have always told me that school is the most important thing in life, then everything else will fall into place. I don’t blame them, they don’t know about the adderall and definitely didn’t think I’d do it this way. Im probably going to stay on the adderall in order to graduate. I can’t be indebted 60k without a degree. Quitting wasn’t easy and I don’t look forward to doing it again, but there is no other way out. I’m sorry that your post is being invaded by a continuing user. However, you should be getting paid the big bucks for starting this website and maybe even create one to prevent people from ever starting. Because if I could change one thing in my life it would be never to have taken this sh*t in the first place. Tanks!
Hi T,
Sorry to hear about your relationship ending. If you guys got along better after you quit Adderall, then to me that says there’s always a chance of you getting back together later after you quit for good (if you want it to go that way).
1. You can’t achieve the same results at first. It may take a couple of years, but you’ll be surprised how close you can get.
2. Do you want the same results? School-wise I can understand…there is only one result: good grades. But do you really need to achieve good grades AND a full load?
Here’s the caveat: It only falls into place after you get a degree because most people let their natural passions and goals guide them to where they need to be in life. Most people just need a degree and their internal guidance system (based on natural passions) and the rest will, as your parent’s said, usually take care of it self. When your parents said that, they had no way of knowing that as Adderall-taker, you are at risk of being largely blind to your natural passions. Spiritually, you are drowning that sense of direction that guides most people to the right place after school.
It’s important that you get that sense of direction back as soon as you can.
As you said: “I don’t blame them, they don’t know about the adderall and definitely didn’t think I’d do it this way.” Exactly. You parents had no way of knowing your real situation when they gave you what would have otherwise been extremely sound advice. If they did know your full situation, what do you think they would tell you?
Get your degree out of the way if you feel you must. But be very careful about making any other major life decisions while still under the influence of Adderall, because you cannot know whether you will hate them later until after you quit…and then it may be too late.
And keep those doses as low as possible. Try to sleep every night. Try to keep your health as much as you can. Try brace yourself well enough that the Adderall downward spiral doesn’t take you too far down. And don’t do this for long. I only say this under the assumption that you are incredibly close to graduating already.
Don’t be! You belong here as much as anybody else. This site is for anybody who struggles with Adderall use…at any stage. You’ve got the Adderall-guilt eating at your core already…eventually you’ll have to give in, and this site will still be here when you do. Good luck. Post back with updates!
Hey I just wanted to say that you have done an amazing thing by creating this website. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. This article almost made me cry because I felt like it spoke so truly about my experience on Adderall.
I remember even as a freshman in high school being afraid that this medication would make my personality change. I was really into music (and still am), and I would write songs in math class or hum a melody in world geography. I had so many ideas. I remember they just came to me like air I was breathing.
Anyway, I addressed my worry to my doctor and my parents, but they assured me that I would still be myself, only more attentive. They just suggested that it wouldn’t hurt to try it. I was put on 25 mg that day.
The medication made me more successful academically and perhaps even made me more popular because I was able to be more attentive and functional in my relationships. However, I struggled with the fact that I never felt like I was myself on it, and I never had those musical or artistic ideas come to me when I sat in class. I ignored the negatives though because I wanted to keep my status at school.
When I went to college, I relied on the medication even more. I got great grades and I was frustrated with people who weren’t as interested in EVERYTHING as I was. I shut myself off from people that year and spent most of my time in the library studying.
Now a couple years later I’m in a relationship and this article takes the words almost straight out of my conversations with my partner. I’m constantly being non-committal and pushing her away and she feels like I never tell her anything about what I’m thinking. I take the medication in the morning and I almost feel nothing for her. Then, when the medication wears off at night, I feel so needy of her and confused. It’s a horrible cycle. It’s extremely scary and makes me lose trust in my own ability to interpret my feelings.
She doesn’t know I’m on the medication because I keep that a secret from nearly everyone. It usually doesn’t go over well to bring up that you are on a controlled II narcotic. The looks you get when you people find out you are on this med – from the pharmacists, the doctors, the nurses, the teachers – are enough to make you want to lock yourself away from the rest of society.
Anyway, I’m going to study abroad soon (which, by the way, makes taking the medication a very difficult endeavor), and the relationship is probably not going to continue during my time there. Right now it’s kind of self-destructing. We’re in different states already, and the future is so uncertain when we’ll be separated by the ocean. I don’t feel confident enough in our relationship or myself to quit taking Adderall or something like it. Who I am to her is who I am on Adderall. I think what inevitably is going to happen is that I’m going to have to stay out of romantic relationships after my trip until I’m out of college, perhaps forever, to avoid the pain that this medication causes to personal relationships.
I don’t expect a solution to come easy, but this website has really gotten me thinking about what I can do to deal with this medication and perhaps eventually get off of it.
So, thank you.
Hey Zeb,
DUDE your post i just read so closely reflects my life right now that i swear i was looking into a mirror when i was reading. if you ever want to talk or e-mail, whatever lmk cause i feel ya man. this is the real deal with me & without a doubt i’m sure many other college kids, too. i love my brilliant ideas that come to me just like an easy-going summer breeze ha. that is cool. when you mentioned that you struggle with feeling like yourself when you are on the adderall, i feel the exact same way. now, i don’t really give a shit about not feeling like myself when im studying & feeling like i’m gonna kick my test’s ass in a few days! But I really, really care about being myself around my boyfriend, Caleb, & my family especially too. I don’t feel any depth or emotional stuff, like if i’m around my family or Caleb & the conversation goes to something sad, or funny, or whatever kind of real feeling- & i just don’t wanna hear about it. And I get SO frustrated with the uninterested lathargic students here at auburn. i dont mean to stereotype the whole school, but damn – in every class i’ve been to at auburn, i transferred in 2 years ago, there’s always people who i completely see through their pretend impression they’re trying to give off & sound smart, but more importantly there is always some other kids in all my classes so far that dont give a damn & make me feel like im the weird person who actually is enjoying the hell out of a class. ughh sorry that was a bit of a rant but they piss me off.
I LIKE being interested even more in my major and all the college stuff than i used to be without the adderall. i just wish it wasn’t so addictive – that sucks!! well, anyway the whole staying out of relationship thing & all that right now is a question that i often ask myself – veryy often. Even without the adderall, I’m still interested in sociology & sustainability, & globalization … & all that other cool shit! my boyfriend could care less & works all the time. that’s not a bad thing but i really want Caleb to care a little bit about a lot of the important issues in the world. you know what im sayin shawty?? ha alright, sorry so long. i promise my adderall is long worn off by now… im just excited i found someone i could relate to – but sorry that you have to feel that way too. at least you arent alone…
-Catherine
Before I started taking Adderall, I was always “clingy” in my marriage. I wanted my husband to love me outside the bedroom and away from social functions… I wanted to be more than his arm candy. Before Adderall, I cried a lot, I was desperate for mt husbands attention. When we were about to “celebrate” our 10 year wedding anniversary, I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd child. He didn’t want me to have the baby. I kept it. Then he left me… I was devastated! That year of pregnancy and divorce was hell and I was such an ASS! I begged him to come back to me. He refused. I just knew I couldn’t live my life sharing my new baby with him and another woman for the rest of my life through visitations. I just wanted to end my life. I didn’t want to do to my kids what my mom did to me so suicide was not an option!
I got through all that without Adderall. If I can handle that without Adderall, I can handle anything without Adderall!
Our divorce was finalized 4 months After I had our baby, It was so painful – I would’t wish that amount of pain on my worst enemy! He would come visit our kids and then he’d “let” me sleep with him. I decided I wasn’t going to win him back and I realized I had to move om and move far away, I bought my own house and moved 6-hours away.
I was doing ok until my Doc prescribed Adderall. That’s when my ex started wanting me back! It had been 3 months and after getting on Adderall I barely gave my ex the time of day! Then He was the one that became desperate to get my attention! WTF! So dumb-ass me… I took him back and we re-married after a 4-month divorce.
That was almost 6 years ago. He still ignores me but I don’t care anymore. Yes, I had a choice – I could have stayed divorced and shared our kids and newborn baby for 18+ years (with him and some wanna-be mom!) or I could re-marry him and numb out his neglect with Adderall.
Yep… Adderall is the easy way to escape your feelings, but I know those feelings are still there… Somewhere. If I ever get off Adderall, I’ll be that desperate wife my husband despises. I wish I could live without my husband… If I could live without him, I would get off Adderall. I feel like I’m nothing without him.
My boyfriend and I had the most wonderful relationship. He was the first guy I have ever truly loved. He was so sweet to me in creative ways. He’d leave little post-its on my desk before I came in (we worked together at the time). He would plan weekend trips with all sorts of details that were special to just us. We would go to the zoo, beaches, movies, etc. We would make love like crazy. We loved each other like crazy.
In April or May, he began taking Adderall. The creativity and compassion disappeared. It has been a downward spiral ever since. He is absorbed in his work and now school. He will average something like two hours of sleep per night, then crash for the entire weekend. We rarely see each other now. We never go on dates. We have nothing to talk about. He is always angry at me, and if I voice my opinion and worries, he shuts down completely and ignores me. He doesn’t think he has a problem.
I have been putting up with this for months, spending a good portion of the time crying. I’ve tried and tried, but I am spent. I broke up with him today. I miss the real him.
My girlfriend was prescribed adderall for add and cfs. She works six days a week and has 2 jobs. She takes adderall in the morning and doesn’t abuse it. This is the problem though. When she’s under the adderall effect she is distant. When it wears off she is clingy. She doesn’t realize how she is acting when she is acting that way but I do. It’s like her mood swings with every passing hour from distant bitch to clingy attentive lover. I’m sick of it.
For the past 3 months I’ve been trying to figure this out, thinking that I was the one who was crazy. Not so. As a non user of adderall it’s pretty messed up to be subjected to that type of behavior. Granted, I’m no saint either. I’ve recognized my errors in the relationship and have learned from them. Now I’m taking steps to get help and correct my behaviors that have negatively impacted the relationship we once had, because we decided to end it. I can’t ask her to stop being sick, I can’t blame her for being prescribed a controlled substance and using it to alleviate her from the add and cfs. The situation is what it is. After reading all of these posts, I realize that Im not alone in this and thank you all for sharing your views on this topic. I already feel a lot better.
I can relate to almost all of these posts in one way or another. About a half a year ago I was prescribed adderall to counterbalance the side effects I was having from another migraine medication. At first I could focus so well in school, I felt like even the most boring of topics I was able to retain information from without diverted my attention to anything else. At night though, I would crash so badly. Me and my ex bf were having a falling out and I would call him crying every single night. My doctor upped my dose to avoid crashing, and this is when I turned into an emotionless, unmotivated, isolated zombie.
My ex bf finally came around and tried to get back with me, and I didn’t even care. He was the love of my life, the first person I truly loved, and him wanting to work things out with me didn’t even phase me. I couldn’t even say I love you without forcing it and feeling as if it was a lie. I was numb. He used to say things that would make me go crazy and call him and cry hysterically and now when he does those things I just sit there, blank. Not a care in the world. Even when it comes to my friends, I don’t even attempt to maintain their friendships. If I don’t talk to them, or see them, it doesn’t even bother me. Out of sight, out of mind.
I honestly feel like a shell of a person to some extent. I’ve tried to get off adderall and I start to feel better, but then I end up taking it again and fall back into this viscous cycle. Its getting to the point where I can sit in my room and not do anything all day and not even care. But in the back of my mind I can hear myself whispering that I wish I could feel again. I loved being in love, I was such a committed, caring girlfriend. Now I wonder if I’ll ever be able to be that person again. I feel literally heartless. It’s like I want his attention to some extent but when he gives it to me I don’t want it anymore. Everything he says and does just irritates me and I don’t feel like making any efforts to be with him. I used to hate feeling lonely, and now that’s all I’ve become. Alone.
I hate this drug, I wish it never landed in my possession. It ruined the outgoing, loving, selfless person I used to be. It feels as if I caved into myself and became the most introverted, useless human in existence. I feel so depressed, like there is no meaning to life anymore. I have no goals, no dreams, no desires. Everything I used to be so passionate about just faded away. Knowing everyone else shares these common experiences just confirms that adderall is the culprit. I want my old self back and I hope in time I’m able to find that person again.
Life is nothing without feeling. Just time passing by. I hate that adderall ruined multiple relationships, and just me as a whole. I hope everyone finds it in themselves to get off of this drug and somehow find a natural, more healthy way to live. That’s the approach I’ve been taking and I feel better already. The benefits of this drug (though I question if there even is any) will never outweigh how important it is to just simply be happy and loved. I wouldn’t trade those things for anything and I hope one day I feel them again.
I got a adderall prescription about a week after my girlfriend of 6 years up and left me. Let me tell you this was not a good idea. I spend countless hours facebook stalking her the first week and texting her like crazy. I always felt like I needed to get the last word in. I think it would be no big deal and I’m just getting my heart out until the next day I re-read everything I said and it sounds absolutely insane! Not only that its like 100 messages. She must think I am crazy. I stopped taking it or should say ran out very quickly, and was ok for a few weeks until I refilled my prescription. I tried talking to her again after 1 month just to talk, her mind was still the same and it just made me persist that much more. Your puruser/distancer talk is spot on and is multiplied by 100 with adderall. It will make you forget that giving someone space and time is healthy and god I wish I had never started taking this during a break-up. I most likely have ruined any shred of hope I had on getting back together with her just because I wouldnt shut the hell up and give her space
cant believe I just found this site. I have been taking adderall for 3 years, and I feel like I need to stop. I am starting to abuse it by taking more and more now. I used to only take 30 but now I pop an extra 10 and another 10 when I feel like it.
Hi Terry!
Thanks for your comment. For starters: Don’t pop when you feel like it. That’s a very slippery slope into an OCD-like abuse spiral (Do I still feel it?! I think it’s wearing off. Ok just one more).
Start making yourself pop at rigid, predetermined times. Try not to dose sooner than 4 hours after your last dose. Even if you’re still taking more than you’re prescribed (e.g., 30mg + 10mg), at least start by fixing the dose at that and not going higher than that.
Also consider making your first dose of the day smaller. Sometimes 2 half doses, spaced out, are more effective than trying to ride out 1 big dose. Unless you have XRs, of course.
Once you get your dose fixed, start trying to wean it down a little.
You can go cold turkey if you’re up for it, but try to taper down a little first if you can. It’ll make the crash that much softer on you.
This site is so very insightful. Thank you for sharing and for everyone sharing their stories.
My story is my bf and I met in college – he was clingy and needy and at first I wasn’t interested. somewhere along the line I changed my mind and fell in love. We planned for our future, spoke about marriage, children etc.
2 years ago he decided to take adderall for misguided weight loss reasons and got a legit. Rx but faked the test. After this our relationship started to go downhill- he was excelling and I was not, he was getting a lot of attention from other people etc.
we started fighting a lot and things were just rough (many tears on my side).
He surrounded himself with fellow users and didn’t see any issue in using this drug under a false pretense. He became very self absorbed and sometimes rude to me, started to be more of a social butterfly but less interested in hanging out with better/older/closer friends.
we broke up when I found him looking for people online but got back together when he decided our life was too good.
He started saying that he wanted everything to go away – friends, job, parents etc.
I should have said something sooner about the adderall but I guess I never thought it was that much to blame. After reading on here I can see so much of the latter part of my relationship and the monster he was becoming.
We broke up for good about a month ago when he told me he didn’t know how he felt anymore and he wasn’t in love with me. He has finally stoped taking his meds. I told him I missed the person he used to be (happy-go-lucky, lots of fun…). I don’t think he even knew how dangerous this drug can be to people.
I wish I could get that person back in my life. We were together for over 8 years.
I hope he can get back to being the fun and loving person he used to be and I wish we could continue on our life together but I know for now he just needs to focus on being free and himself again.
I write this article thankful to read others who have gone through such things as me, and in shock to see If I could have read this earlier – maybe I would have some remains of a relationship.
I met my ex boyfriend in highschool in NC, we dated and we had a pretty rough break up but he was my first love. I had to get over him, and I ended up moving to Seattle, WA with my family after graduation. Fastf forward 4 years and I am 22 years old living in Seattle still and my ex and I start talking again. We are still in love ( just like the movies! lol ) I decide in my life it is time I take a chance and I fly to be with him for a couple of weeks. Never once did I think that being on adderall for the past three years may be affecting my life or my relationships, though I should have. They had all been a very sad existence!
So I get to NC and I get to my ex bf whom became my boyfriend again, we date, I do not get on my plane home and we begin planning a life together. We would spend six months living in NC then come back this way. I took my pills daily, and as I am thinking out loud after reading this article, I was so distant during the day and clung at night. We moved back to Seattle and got our first apartment home together. This was three months ago after staying with family. We had always argued and we had our share of problems, but the day our biggest problem came alive was the day we both decided it would be best if I went off of this medication.
It was a month ago exactly I went cold turkey off of it, and it was the best thing I ever did. I am finally my self again!! I am so funny again, and poetic and cuter maybe haha =). Anyways, I became a less aggressive person but I became a very dependent person. Lucky for me my boyfriend worked all day so I only saw him at night. It was his days off that really got to me, and I finally saw what my relationship was – during the time I was on these drugs, I never noticed how little attention he paid me. How many times he never held me, my hand ect. I was living in an emotionless relationship and up until soberness hit- I was okay with it because I was too busy in my own little world. I suddenly became too sad realizing it was just a sham, and he became too overwhelmed with my need to be loved on and such.
I moved out of my home last night after living with my boyfriend for a year. My ex boyfriend is planning to move his life back to NC, and it is so sad to think that if I had just gone into this mess with a sober thought I could have avoided heart ache. It literally only took me three weeks at most to realize I was living a life of a sad person because I was too busy being drugged to realize I was living with the wrong person.
I hope this website can help others before its too late .
& also all of your stories are all very sad but great to read – thank you
This is an interesting article. I think it may be a bit too simplistic, but framed within the context of Adderall, it is on point.
I think one of the hardest parts about quitting Adderall (I quit about a year ago), is learning how to manage the relationship between who you used to be and who you are off of Adderall. I quit when my boyfriend broke up with me, and was immediately struck with intense guilt about who I was and the way I treated him. The guilt made me miserable for about 7 or 8 months. It is important to learn to forgive yourself, and understand that the relationship you have with yourself is much more important than the relationship you have with anyone else.
I am blown away when I read the stories on this site. I have felt like I was going crazy. I have been married for 16 almost 17 years now, I was prescibed Adderall 8 years ago and saw a significant improvement in my ability to perform at work.
My wife saw such an improvement in me that she began taking it. She has taken it for 9 years straight. I on the other hand took it for about two years and then began starting and stopping because I would reach a point where I began feeling to anxious.
I never even thought about the side affects of this drug, I was blind to what was actually going on.
I honestly never thought about it.
My wife of 16 years would periodicly leave me when thing in our relationship would get to a point where she couldn’t take the relationship anymore.This always devastated me and catch me completely off guard.
Her leaving would always lower my self confidence each time it would happen. Our relationship very much resimbles the push/ pull or pursuer /distancer example given above.
The mood swings from starting and stopping this drug and the length of time it has gone on has taken its toll on the marriage and my family. I quit cold turkey in January of this year , my wife left 3 months later. She was my best friend, today she want have anything to do with me.
I agree completly with lauren, it is important to learn to forgive yourself .
Thanks
Good article, but I just want to add some additional thoughts: I have experienced what I would call an “opposite kind of effect” with my girlfriend who takes adderall. (compared to most of the stories) She recently broke up with me, but I think it was because she stopped taking the adderall. It seems like when she is on the adderall she is actually more attentive to me and seems to show more emotions for me. When I met her a year ago, she was taking the adderall and would periodically stop and start it.. It never was a problem for us and there didn’t seem to be dramatic shifts in her behavior because she would just skip it for 1-3 days or so. About 6 months ago she told me that she was not taking her adderall for several weeks while on break from college (December). Around then, I noticed her becoming extremely irritable and difficult to get along with.. She didn’t seem to act herself at all. Very distant.. So eventually she started back taking it shortly after the semester started.. Then suddenly she was easier to get along with. Here recently, she has stopped taking it for about a month. We started arguing a lot, she was very tired, irritable, uncaring.. distant.. She broke it off with me. She seems confused.. Just before this she told me she was very depressed. Supposedly, she takes this adderall with prozac.. She hates me asking her if she is taking her meds.. Last time i asked, she told me she was still on the prozac but stopped the adderal. I just think that she is pulling her brains in all directions, and that, abruptly quiting the adderall is causing her to make rash decisions and become emotionless. That is why i say it is like the opposite effect. Her emotions disappear when she stops taking it.. Maybe because of the combination of drugs or just the atypical effect that drugs have on certain people. Maybe the longer she is off of it, the more balanced she will become.. Either way, I honestly think that she is eventually going to regret breaking up with me and call.. Mainly because the adderall on/off routine is making making her less herself. Any thoughts on this?
I’m fifty seven and Ive began taking adderall mainly for depression for about ten years ago.My boys grew up and moved on and I was missing them terribly. With adderrall I can actually focus on my own life and am able to stop longing for the past. I still miss them and wish we were able to spend more time together, but I no longer feel rejected. I get it, they’re busy. I also get that my children will never love me the way I love them, but they will love their children the same way. I’m okay with that too. I’m married to a wonderful man, who is also very focused on his work. He has some health problems and as a result we have not been intimate for many years. He is not very demonstrative, not a cuddlier and of course, I’m the opposite. Before adderrall I was begging him for affection all the time, I was so lonely. Now, I spend a lot of time alone reading and at work. I don’t socialize much because of work hours so I have few friends, but I have always been somewhat of a loner. I value the few friends I have and those relationships are deep and meaningful. Recently, I was offered a 4 year contract out of state. I am considering it. My husband says he will
every month and although he doesn’t want me to go, he thinks we will be fine. I’ve lived out of state before on a two year assignment. I’m not happy, but I’m not sad either. I’m still lonely, but I can deal with it now. For now, I’d rather feel nothing than feel pain,
I’m fifty seven and Ive began taking adderall mainly for depression for about ten years. My boys grew up and moved on and I was missing them terribly. With adderrall I can actually focus on my own life and am able to stop longing for the past. I still miss them and wish we were able to spend more time together, but I no longer feel rejected. I get it, they’re busy. I also get that my children will never love me the way I love them, but they will love their children the same way. I’m okay with that too. I’m married to a wonderful man, who is also very focused on his work. He has some health problems and as a result we have not been intimate for many years. He is not very demonstrative, not a cuddlier and of course, I’m the opposite. Before adderrall I was begging him for affection all the time, I was so lonely. Now, I spend a lot of time alone reading and at work. I don’t socialize much because of work hours so I have few friends, but I have always been somewhat of a loner. I value the few friends I have and those relationships are deep and meaningful. Recently, I was offered a 4 year contract out of state. I am considering it. My husband says he will
visit every month and although he doesn’t want me to go, he thinks we will be fine. I’ve lived out of state before on a two year assignment. I’m not happy, but I’m not sad either. I’m still lonely, but I can deal with it now. For now, I’d rather feel nothing than feel pain,
I’m the type of person that realizes that I’m distant when I’m on my Adderall, and I feel guilty for it, but often tries to forget about it, and I’m often disappointed about it, but I want to accomplish my goals to benefit our life for the future–to live comfortably, worry-free–yet I seem to control it better when I’m around my girlfriend now, than when I first started taking it.
The thing, is that I didn’t feel like I was “meeting” her or her family’s expectations because of my status then and now, (She doesn’t think that) and the way our relationship started, between her parents, her ex-boyfriend, and I. My status before was, I partied, I wasn’t motivated to do anything beneficial for my future, I wasn’t in school(I’m still not, but closer than I would’ve been), I graduated high school 2 years before, I smoked cigarettes (which is still a problem), a big drinker, and they didn’t like me the first time they heard about me.
They saw me as bad news, and I understood why. I had no ambition, and I didn’t seem like a good “match” for her, since she’s in school, and already has 2 years completed for her degree, and I have no years toward mine. I’m far behind and I hope she doesn’t have to pick up my slack. I love her so much. I worry sometimes. I want our future to be as worry-free as possible, and having a adequate amount of money always comes with a sense of security.
When we first started dating I took it upon myself to visit a doctor about what was wrong with me. I told him that I always had attention issues, I was impulsive, smoked, had unsatisfactory grades in high school, couldn’t latch onto subjects that I noticed my peers were understanding clearly, to which was all true. The evaluation said I had ADHD/ADD and he prescribed me Adderall.
Since taking it, I have 3 jobs and I made an acceptable score on the collegiate admissions test(ACT) for the university I wanted to go to. I became more productive, stayed on task, I’m punctual, I manage my money more efficiently, I’m more attentive, more motivated, more driven, but only for so long, 2 to 3 hours to be exact, if I don’t take another tablet. That is always a risky decision.
What do you want more? At what cost? Perhaps, distancing myself from my girlfriend and family, and seemingly neglecting our relationship, and my health. Why do I depend on this medicine to make me feel like Mr. Perfect to work on my ego for others to accept my person? Who am I? Is that for me to decide? Is this really a crutch? Maybe, something deeply embedded in my mind, our society, or is it a mental block that I will grow out of? Am I selfish, or selfless, for taking Adderall? Could it all be a matter of self-control, self-condemnation, confidence in one’s abilities, or all of the above?
Abuse is abuse, it takes different forms, but derives from the same progenitor. If it isn’t stopped, inhibited or neutralized, it can reproduce and spawn offspring, with a stronger immunity for what you try to combat it with. Making it more difficult to locate the root cause, and to eliminate it.
Everyone, including myself, need to learn more about themselves and seize ignoring what’s happening in their lives. Ignorance is bliss, but that can only go so far, before it collapses. In my opinion, some of this behavior, is accountable by the “implications” of what it means to truly become a beneficial member of society, and trying to take care of yourself at the same time, like putting value on one’s self. Another, is our diet, what we’re putting in our bodies that can cause more severe disorders. They can be hereditary. Also, this is the same society that claims that this condition is a disorder, and should be treated. This is not necessarily right or wrong, it’s more of a personal decision, unless parents with children that have ADHD believe in this treatment. This medicine has its “pro and con” effects, most of everything does. I say, know your proper dosage, and proceed in moderation.
Becoming responsible, and aware can save yourself a lot of problems. I’m not favoring the use of this drug because I’ve had my share of bad experiences, and it may not be the treatment for me. I’m looking for a natural alternatives, and I’m also to trying to quit smoking because my anxiety gets worse when I do. I’m working on my relationship, on trying to balance my tasks and time for her. No one likes to feel neglected, and I’m doing what I can to make it better. I will eventually stop taking Adderall. I wish luck to those who are trying to quit and are continuing to do better for themselves.
Need some help if possible! First of all i want to say that I read through each and everyone of these posts and they are all helpful! Thank you for sharing! I am going through a break up with who I thought to be the “One”. She has been on adderall for probably 3-4 years now but we were only together for 9 months.
We often get in fights and arguments mostly at night when she is coming down on the pill or on the weekends when she does not take it. She sometimes mixes alchohal with the pill which only makes the fights worst.
I honestly hate that we fight and argue so much and think that it is all my fault which at times the arguments are my fault, however after reading identical stories it seems that adderall can have a big part in this as well. We are on a mutual brak up right now and a part of me wants to give it time and get back with her but the other half of me does not want to get back with her.
I know that if we were to ever get back together it would have to be her trying to quit the adderall. Any thoughts or suggestions? Any help would be great! Thanks!
He holds all of the power . I am completely powerless . He’s the one who got addicted to drugs he’s the one who had to go and get help. I’m sitting here completely helpless and he’s out there getting better while I just get worse and worse . Changing my day around his schedule so I don’t miss his call, not going out at all so I can talk on the phone for however long he can, not being able to call him and ask him things or call him if I need him . I have no control in any of this it’s all on him . He has control over me . He choose to misuse his drug he made bad decisions which led to him needing help leaving me here all alone while he’s off getting better and learning to feel better about himself . He’s going to come home and everything is going to revolve around him and how he’s doing and what he’s doing to get better while I stand along side him powerless and silent to the point where I change my entire life style all because of his stupid chooses . I have to change everything in my life I’m completely powerless and I did nothing to get to this point . I wasn’t the one who misused my medicine I wasn’t the one who had to go get help I wasn’t the one who did anything all I did was offer love and support and what I get in return is loneliness . And waiting and fearfulness and confusion. I didn’t do anything to deserve it and yet I’m the one suffering and he’s the one getting better . Life’s just not fair. I can offer him everything I can support him and love him but the bottom line is I can’t make him better I can’t ensure he will never do this to me again. I trust him and I know he loves me but I have no say in whether he stays on track or not . That’s all on him , I still remain powerless and will always be powerless . It’s all up to him now and there’s nothing I can do or say to make sure he never does that. It’s unfair we’re in a relationship and we should be equals but were not and aparently have never been for as long as he chose to misuse his pills he held all the power in our relationship and now as he’s getting better he still holds all the power. Will we ever be equals again? Or will this disease hold such a power over me that I will always be the one powerless and he the one with the power ? And is calling this a disease an excuse that will get him out of dealing with the consequences of his drug ? He now gets to come home and we will all be catering to him while he doesn’t have any trouble to amend ? Is that fair ? I don’t think it’s fair to me , I can’t be selfish though and he’s the one who holds the power so he doesn’t have to make amends with me or make anything better all he has to do is focus on himself while getting my whole life and my whole self and energy to help him along the way while I am silent and powerless of a relationship that should be of equals. And all of this is because he chose a drug over me . So the question remains , will this always hold a power over us and keep us from being equals again? I hold no control in this situation , will I be able to handle myself in this powerless relationship ? Will I be able to stand by him and remain silent ? Will we ever get back to being equals or will this disease hold such power over us that we are doomed to be equals as such that we were before ? Was being equals before just an illusion? Was this drug ever controlling over him and over me to the point that everything we had was a lie ? Will I ever know or understand or forgive h truly for the choices he made and the hurt he has caused ? Will he be able to make this up to me or will he be so focused on getting better that he won’t have time to make amends with me and make things better between us ? Is it selfish of me to think this way? yes What he needs to do is get better but is it selfish of me to need him to make amends with me so i can truely forgive him? Will I be stuck waiting, powerless and silent for something that may never come ? Can i go back to trusting the man who lied to me so many times and broke all of the trust i had in him? is there a way for me to believe what he is telling me is the truth or will i be stuck forever analyzing every word every story that come from his mouth? It took me so long to trust him and yet I’m stuck thinking, was I too quick to trust? I thought I knew him but how could I have possibly really knew him if now I’m looking back and trying to figure out what was a lie and what was the truth ? I have him everything I have , will he backfire against me an continue to lie to me or will he see how much I care and finally be truthful to me ? What was a lie and what was the truth? Will I ever know ? Will I ever be able to trust in him again? I have so many emotions inside me and I don’t know if its even right for me to be having these emotions because I love and care about him so much. Will this disease always control him? Always control me ? Our relationship? What is to come of all of this ? How am I supposed to feel? What should I do if he is so focused on getting better that he forgets to make amends with me? Do I just stand by and forgive him because I love him or do I stand up for myself and tell him how I feel? Will I be just in feeling this way? Will I ever be able to forgive myself for feeling these feelings against the one that I have such great love for ? Maybe someday ill know the answers to all my questions and the confusion I have now will be cleared up. For now I suppose all I can do is remain powerless and wait for a truth that may not be one that I yearn for .
It is extremely complex having a relationship with someone that has ADD. The hardest part is that during the relationship you develop close ties and really develop solid foundations that you see as a strength for a long term relationship. Unfortunately everything can change in a heartbeat. It’s painful for you dealing with the person you love that has ADD. You feel doubt, insecurity, anxiety, on edge and the list goes on. Perhaps the hardest times are when someone is coming off the medication or cycles through the medication on a regular basis. Understand that it doesn’t matter if you were together for 6 months or 6 years. Unfortunately the strengths in your relationships may not be enough to enlighten the person with ADD. I hope more people read these forums before getting into a relationship with someone that has ADD. It’s to benefit everyone in the relationship.
I’m so glad I’ve found this website. Reading these comments has made me feel like I’m not alone. My Boyfriend (at the time) and I had just recently started dating, and it was awesome! I really felt like I’ve found someone who could be my best friend, as well as my boyfriend. We did everything together, and had many similar interests. He would also tell me all the time how he felt that I was really good for him. He built such a pretty picture of us actually having a future together, and he talked about it quite often. He told me from the beginning that he had been diagnosed with ADHD as a child, but me being a patient person, never found this difficult to handle. Both of us felt like this relationship could actually go somewhere, until he started taking Adderall. It was crazy how his attitude changed towards me. He went from always wanting to spend time with me and talking with me, to blaming be for everything and distancing himself from me. We had talked about how Adderall effects him before he started taking it (he would only take it when he felt stressed at school), and he warned me that he would change. This didn’t matter to me. However, in the course of a week of him consistently taking the drug, little by little, it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with me. I decided to talk to him about it, and he told me that it was best for both of us not to be together anymore. He said he didn’t like how he was treating me, and felt like there was nothing he could do about it. He explained that he just couldn’t care about anything more than what he was trying to focus on at the time. He told me once again that I was perfect for him, but that right now was not the right time. Rejection always hurts, but being told that we should be together, just not right now was like a slap in the face. Especially since just a few days before, we were making plans for a future together. Not being familiar with the side effects, I felt like a was just getting a line because he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He said he wants to be my friend still, and who knows, we may get back together because he feels like there is something really special between us. Because I really care for him, I agreed that maybe it would be best for both of us to take a step back. I’m not sure what to do, I do want him in my life, and I am content being his friend, but I also miss the old him. He said he does not want to lose me, but I hate feeling like this drug is also pushing us farther apart. I guess all I can do is be there for him as a friend, and see what happens.
I’m really glad I found this article. It gives me a lot of hope in my relationship. We’ve been dating for about one and a half years.
About one or two months ago, my boyfriend started taking Adderall. The immediate effect in his personality was obvious; his only thought was excelling in his work, he lost emotion and humor, and he even told me he didn’t love me anymore.
I’ve been keeping track to make sure I’m not just insane; he hasn’t told me he loves me without me saying it first for weeks. The worst part is, a lot if the personality effects have worn off. He just hasn’t come back to the relationship.
I’ve tried bringing him back without mentioning the Adderall. It makes him such a good student, and his confidence in school is beautiful.
I don’t think he is going to be on Adderall once summer vacation begins, but he’ll be back on it once school starts. I don’t know if I can take another year of showing him I love him when I can’t see any sign that he loves me back.
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But like I said, I’m glad I found this article. It gives me a new found hope that he could still love me. I’m begging that it’s right. I don’t want me and him to end up like majority of the other commenters here…Split up by Adderall.
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One more note. I am on Ritalin, which is very similar to Adderall in its chemical makeup. The problem is, unlike my boyfriend, it amplifies my emotions. I become very social and interested when I’m on it, but my dose only lasts the first part of the day. The problem is, when it wears off, I feel the extreme of the ‘Pursuer’ effect.
I become EXTREMELY clingy. I only realized it when he thought I was trying to make him break up with me.
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My final piece of advice to anyone reading this, don’t take medication if you can help it. It does things you either won’t see, or you won’t see until it’s too late.
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Good luck to anyone else who’s trying to save an Adderall victim.
I was just perscribed Adderall and this is my second week and I’m so greatful to read everyone’s stories. My problem is my husband now feels it like he can blame everything on my ADD and make me feel stupid for forgetting and now blames meds on me not listening saysmI’m to focused on other things. I have not really been depressed but I notice when we fight or I am yelled at for something I cry. I hate crying I feel weak. I hope this wears off soon. Has anyone tried another meds? I need to focus at work and at home I have 3 kids also and a husband all needing my attention. Can anyone help?
My husband has been on Adderall for almost all of his adult life – roughly the past 13 years. I knew of the mood swings, irritability, extreme sleepiness, all of the side effects of his crashes when he ran out, but we didn’t live together before we married so he’d try to manage his crashes to happen whenever we were apart. We’ve been married almost a year and we just started therapy, but he doesn’t realize the effect his meds have on the quality of our relationship. His 30 day supply barely lasts him 2 weeks now and in any given month, I feel like I’m living with 3 different people – medicated, crashing and clean. I never know who I’m coming home to because it’s such a sensitive subject, he isn’t proactive about telling me when he’s out, when he gets them, etc.
When it comes to our relationship there are definite pros and cons to medicated vs unmedicated, so sometimes I have a hard time deciding on which version of him I’d prefer.
When he’s on them he’s more patient, easier to talk to, more productive, listens better, treats me respectfully and is more affectionate. The cons are that he rarely sleeps, doesn’t eat much, will talk about things to exhaustion, many times until I’m too tired for sex. He acts like if he can stay up all night, I should be able to. Oh, did I mention I’m 5 months pregnant?
When he’s not on them he’s irritable, impatient, distant, lazy, spouts off whatever comes to his head, doesn’t listen, everything is my fault, has very little interest in sex, sleeps all the time and is unaffectionate. The pros are that he has no trouble coming to bed with me and doesn’t wear me out telling me for hours all of the things I did wrong for the previous few weeks.
I would be happy with him either way – on it or off it, but I want consistency. If he’s going to be on it, I want him to take them properly so they last like they should. I never feel like I can talk to him the right way. I’m always trying new ways to approach him because I never know who I’m talking to. I walk on egg shells. He has a short fuse and I feel abused as a result of his adderall abuse.
I have little faith that therapy will help, unless he can learn to manage his meds properly.
I want to thank Dr. PAUL for helping me through the worst times of my life, for being such a great spell caster, and for giving me a love spell that has brought me so much joy by bringing my boy friend back to me. If you need his help, trust me. You should take a chance. It pays off in a ways you could never even imagine. email him at altimatespelltemple@gmail.com …..ANNA
How Hormone replacement therapy helped me with Adderal
Well, I have been on and off Adderal for years, never liked it, I have accomplished amazing things naturally, I mean amazing things, got huge positions as an executive, started businesses, but all went amazing till I was inconsistent or couldnt do tedious stuff. So I restarted my own business, it is doing well, but I am back on adderal, I ran a plastic surgery company for a while, learned about hormones.
I am a guy, I workout, had a trainer, got buff, but adderal def burns your hormones and lowers your testosterone, so I started hormone replacement therapy. I am buff and muscular and very sexual, however, alas, my attraction to people is on and off. I get lots of attention since I started these hormones, I mean massive attention, but now I feel little back!
I know if I had been in a relationship it would be ok to be on adderal during the day because at night it wears off and I get lonely (even though I reject everyone). I like both sexes so I get girls and guys after me, oh one interesting piece of info, on adderal I tend to like women more and off of it I like guys more!
However, as someone who is ADHD, I have a super high intellect and amazing personality, and you all do too, that is something you should realize. ADHD is not a disorder, it is a different way of thinking, instead of being medicated growing up i was allowed to flourish. I did terrible in school but ended up doing well later on. However, I need the adderal to be consistent, the key is to try to crash as early in the day as possible. Weed is a miracle drug for me with this.
When I was an executive of a company I delegated tasks and was able to get by without adderal, now in my own biz, I cannot do that, so I need it. None of you should let your light fade away, you all have amazing gifts, those are not deficits but the ability to multi focus and mono focus. I bet all of you off of adderal are amazingly exceptional at things you are interested in.
Life off adderal is ok if you don’t have to work, but don’t be deceived, if you got a degree, you won’t be able to work without it. I recommend hormone replacement therapy, it will keep you healthy and young and looking great. A new drug called Sermorelin actually will cause you to grow younger and reverse a lot of the damage adderall does.
Ask yourself this though, off adderall when you are not productive and unable to be consistent and unable to get things done, are you depressed? I know I am, if you are under 28, hormone replacement therapy will be too soon for you, but I am 33 so it is a young age but works.
Take weekends off, take L-tyrosine it is a natural precursor to dopamine, I take one every night, force yourself to eat, drink protein shakes. Most importantly, DO NOT take adderal socially, your ADHD personality is better than anyone else’s, that randomness allows you to create conversation, at least in my case. Stop seeing yourself as having a disorder, it is not, many brilliant minds in history had “learning disorders,” but they were not treated, and they thrived, because success was measured differently back then. Try to be your natural self as much as possible and crashing from adderal sucks, but after the crash is over you will get a second wind and return to your true self.
Don’t ever go on dates on adderal unless your personality is so crazy that you need to be dull and boring. Quitting Adderall is not a good option for everyone, I am someone who is very much educated and experienced so much in life you would not believe what I type. I can tell you that I used to believe in quitting and being off of it, but who the hell will date you if you don’t make any money, get fired from your job, lose your business etc… the key with adderal is less is more. Philosophically I agree with quitting it, but the problem is not us, it is society, society is built around people who think confined, we do not, we are unique, we are the artists, the problem solvers, the executives, the entrepreneurs. The key is not quitting but finding the right balance of it in your life. Take it to wake up, take it to get stuff done, crash at night, and eat lots of food, force yourself even, but weed helps a lot with appetite. Although if you do go on hormone replacement therapy sermorelin increases appetite and you will get crazy hungry when you inject it, but don’t worry it burns your fat.
I have volumes of information on this as I tried to solve this problem for years, I know a very famous and brillian man who is around 70, I cannot say his name because he is a huge name. I will say he has been on amphetamines low doses since he was young, his dad was innovative and a doctor, he went to harvard, dropped out and changed music in the USA forever. He is still on it, and healthy, I almost wonder if it is healthy long term, it keeps you active, keeps you thin, keeps your mental focus, when not abused, there may be arguments for it.
I don’t believe this attraction problem is dopamine, I believe it is oxytocin a hormone responsible for love and attraction, I am convinced adderall depletes it. I did find a non stimulant alternative natural that controlled my adhd, but it is addictive, it is called Kratom. It works through the caffeine and oppiate receptors. I quit it because the opiate receptor part killed my attraction to people, but the hormones kept up my sex drive so if I were in a relationship it might have been a better alternative though I prefer non addictive stuff. I hope this jumble of information has helped someone, we must learn to draw the line between use and abuse, and if you don’t abuse adderal you will be better off. If you are too skinny you are not working out, not eating enough etc.. Also, if you take too much adderall it will enhance your ADHD! So that is a lesson I learned over the years. Too much just makes you hyper focus on the wrong stuff, less is more. So quit abusing adderal is more accurate. Now, if you never have to work again and you are retired or super rich, I am all for quitting it, or at least not taking more than a tiny dose to wake up, that often can be enough to get you by.
One more thing, remember that ADHD has impulsiveness as a trait, that means you may spend too much money, do risky stuff, try to find the balance, be dr jekle during the day but mr hyde at night. You will find that Mr Hyde at night will at least have residually less ADHD.
Oh yea, I am finding it difficult to be attracted to someone, but that is because I take this shit too late, for those of you who don’t own your own biz or don’t have to be focused all day, quit early, that is my long term plan once I get myself where I need to be. Oh and btw, adderal is worn off by now, so I am not speeding, this is me naturally lol.
Good luck
I would love some advice if someone can help.
My boyfriend quit cold turkey almost 60 days ago. I’ve taken the approach of giving him space (but I made it known to him that I’m here to talk and be there for hik, but would give him space until he’s up for that) so I don’t crowd him.
Unfortunately, I’m getting to a confused breaking point! I rarely hear from him if ever. When I do his texting is off. He’ll start a convo then disappear for a day or two mid convo. I’ve tried sending a few fun, laid back texts to make him laugh and he ignores it! I feel like, now that he’s quit, he’s pulling away more so.
I feel hurt and ignored when I haven’t done anything to deserve it.I’m trying to be understanding and not be selfish… but it’s hard. I haven’t seen him since he quit and dont know if he even cares for me anymore. …I feel like hes taking me for granted. Like he knows I care so much and will be there for him no matter how he treats me! That’s not fair to me either….
I dont know what to do… advice please
This past summer i started a relationship with a beatiful young lady that was off for the summer adderall.
i did know it at the time but i knew something was off.
i fell in love with her and we spoke of our future together often.
a few months after being together i found out she took adderall and i didnt think much of it.
Then fall semester started for her and she started to use it.
She became very selfish and i knew that i didnt like what i was seeing/feeling.
then we broke up over me walking out on her and not talking to her for a week.
My heart is broken from the brake up and it was hard for me to deal with the fact that she made the choice she did.
i started to think about all the relationships that she had and how they were very shallow and almost nonexistant.
Then it dawned on me that these are side effects to the meds she was using.
I started to read more about adderall and learned that in fact it is the result of taking these drugs.
I love her a lot.
Thanks to the folks who have spilled their hearts out on this web page I realize I can no longer be involved with her.
she took these drugs with no presription and didnt need these drugs to finish school , cause she was smart enough to do it on her own.
Thank you again to all the people on this site and my heart goes out each of you.
Much love DeeZee
This past summer i started a relationship with a beatiful young lady that was off for the summer adderall.
i did know it at the time but i knew something was off.
i fell in love with her and we spoke of our future together often.
a few months after being together i found out she took adderall and i didnt think much of it.
Then fall semester started for her and she started to use it.
She became very selfish and i knew that i didnt like what i was seeing/feeling.
then we broke up over me walking out on her and not talking to her for a week.
My heart is broken from the brake up and it was hard for me to deal with the fact that she made the choice she did.
i started to think about all the relationships that she had and how they were very shallow and almost nonexistant.
Then it dawned on me that these are side effects to the meds she was using.
I started to read more about adderall and learned that in fact it is the result of taking these drugs.
I love her a lot.
Thanks to the folks who have spilled their hearts out on this web page I realize I can no longer be involved with her.
she took these drugs with no presription and didnt need these drugs to finish school , cause she was smart enough to do it on her own.
Thank you again to all the people on this site. Now I understand what happened to my relationship and the Girl that I love so much. My heart goes out each of you.
Much love DeeZee
This past summer i started a relationship with a beatiful young lady that was off of adderall for the summer. She seemed like she loved me in the begining.
i didnt know it at the time that she used adderall but i knew something was off.
I fell in love with her and we spoke of our future together often.
a few months after being together i found out she took adderall and i didnt think much of it.
Then fall semester started for her and she started to use it.
She became very selfish and i knew that i didnt like what i was seeing/feeling.
Then we broke up over me walking out on her and not talking to her for a week.
My heart is broken from the brake up and it was hard for me to deal with the fact that she made the choice she did.
I started to think about all the relationships that she had and how they were very shallow and almost nonexistant.
Then it dawned on me that these are side effects to the meds she was using.
I started to read more about adderall and learned that in fact it is the result of taking these drugs.
I love her a lot.
Thanks to the folks who have spilled their hearts out on this web page I realize I can no longer be involved with her.
she took these drugs with no presription and didnt need these drugs to finish school , cause she was smart enough to do it on her own.
Thank you again to all the people on this site. Now I understand what happened to my relationship and the Girl that I love so much. My heart goes out each of you.
Much love DeeZee
My name is Mrs joyce from united kingdom i got married at the age of 30 i have only one child and i was living happily .After 5 year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dreams of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail i cry seeking for help i discussed it with my best friend and she promise to help me he told me of a man called PRINCE AYAWU, he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot do that is why they call him the great doctor. I contacted him And i told him everything that happen all he told me is that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after 4 days my husband will come back to me and start begging, it really happen i was very surprise and very happy our relationship was now very tight and we both live happily again.So my advice for you now is to contact this same email address templeofgreatness@gmail.com if you are in any kind of situation concerning love issues and any other things that give you problems contact him.
THANKS..
Adderall will change your personality and make you heartless. I had to take it for college or I would have never finished. I attended 4 different colleges before finally getting on adderall and excelling in school. I hate taking the medicine it makes me feel like crap, although I am able to listen to people easier it masks my true adhd loveable self. I lost many friends and was rude to my family before finally realizing what was going on. It was changing who I was. Now that I am finally graduating I lost the person that I cared for in a 2 year relationship because of my short fuse and lack of empathy. If you are on adderall for school I understand (if you are adhd) but if you are on it for any other reason why would you take it? I have never understood this.
Ending note: dont let adderall change who you are and if it is atleast acknowledge it, and let the person who you are with know. Not letting them know is selfish.
As an 3 year long adderall user, I am considering the implications of this article. I dont quite agree that I am a distancer, rather too much of a pursuer when people want their distance and quickly lose patience & move from one prospect to another, eventually losing everyone in the chain – THEN distancing from EVERYBODY. My psychologist supports my usage and doesnt condemn me for running out early, and I’m sure my doctor sees my refill pattern with the database system in my state. It keeps me awake and alert when my depression would leave me in bed, I spent about 2 years like that before Adderall, and I dont see myself pulling it all together again in 1 month, like the cold turker guide suggests. I am ill, what I did in my 20’s led to 30’s with holes in my brain. Meds put my back in the game, but my new years resolution is get off all of them in 1 year, start after the holidays and MAYBE have a wonderful 2016 through the help of my psychologist. I am not ADD, I am Major Depressive – different animal. On my med combo – for which adderall is the real workhorse, I am MORE compassionate with family and strangers – the problems is friends and relationships. But is it really the adderall/meds or my condition? Forever alone? Would love to meet someone as messed up as me, that would be a fair game. otherwise everyone I have met is such a freak about their health and/or anti-meds all the way – only that makes me consider quitting and also turns me off in a way (plus I lose confidence realizing I am too SICK for them, even if I just took an SSRI or sedative). So quite or start going to events to get in touch with crazy people – both are not very appealing. I will revisit your site every now and then and re-evaluate where I’m at in my dependence and lifestyle. Thanks.
My Name is willams I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum because i never thought i will have my wife back and he means so much to me. My ex-wife that i want to get married to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man, When i called him he never picked my calls, he deleted me on his facebook and changed his relationship status to Single. I lost my job as a result of this because i can’t get myself anymore, my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life. I tried all i could do to have him back to all did not work out until i met Dr baba nnaji on this forum. I explained my problem and all that I have passed through in getting him back and how i lost my job, so Dr baba nnaji told me he is going to help me. I don’t believe that in the first place but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my wife left me and also told me some hidden secrets. I was amazed when i heard that from him, he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results within 48 hours. To my greatest surprise my wife called me at exactly 2 days and apologies for all he had done, he said he never knew what he is doing and his sudden behavior was not intentional and he promised not to do hurt again. It was like I am dreaming when I heard that from him and when we ended the call, I called and told him my wife called and apologized, he told that I haven’t seen anything yet, he said i will also get my job back in 3 days’ time. Within 3 days’ time my Director called me at my place of work that i should resume working immediately. My life is back into shape, I have my wife back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too. Dr baba nnaji is really powerful. If we have up to 20 people like him in the world, the world would have been a better place. He has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now. I am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting Dr baba nnaji for any help in life… You can mail him….baba100spelltemple@gmail.com
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) you need a divorce in your relationship
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women & men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband & wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) Herbal care
Contact him today on:baba100spelltemple@gmail.com
I am in love with someone who abuses Adderall. We have been friends for many years and my love for him has blossomed over time. I have always been aware of his problems with drugs and have always offered support of any kind to help him.
Over the past year our relationship has grown into a romantic one. There have been some issues along the way aside from the Adderall. I have participated in using the drug with him and I enjoy it every once in awhile for recreation. I have no desire to obtain a script. I know and experience the bad side of Adderall and that is not something I would want to start since it seems like once you start…it’s extremely difficult to stop. Before our relationship really blossomed, I was so ignorant to the effects of it, but over time and being with him, I get to see both sides. I see the side where he over induldges on the drug by taking to many and staying up for several nights and I see the side when he crashes…and he crashes hard. It’s a vicious cycle. When he is taking the addy, it makes him rigid and not so friendly. He becomes distant and a little mean in his demeanor. When he is off of it, he sleeps the first few days and then seems to come out of his shell. He is much nicer, much more communicative. He seeks me.
It is very hard to endure, but my love for him tells me to stick it out and try to help him. I don’t want to turn my back on him. I want to help him get himself clean. He is such a bright and extremely intelligent person…I hate to see someone waste themselves. He is an amazing person. He truly is. The most amazing human I have ever met.
But the pushing/pulling of the relationship is hard. When he becomes distant it is hard to not feel disconnected with him. It’s like he shuts down and distances himself. I have a hard time being patient with him, but I am working on it. I am willing to make changes and sacrifices on my end if it meant it would help him. Reading this article has helped me understand his behaviors more. I just wonder how can I, as a partner/friend, help him? How can I, myself, deal with it along the way? I don’t want to walk away from him…I have been in love with him for so long. He is my bestest buddy EVER! My feelings for him are far too great to leave him hanging. I want to help him…I want to be supportive, patient and understanding. Can anyone offer advice?
My name is Kathy Gilbert from United States My boyfriend and I were happy as far as I could tell and I never thought that we would break up. When his cousin died in a tragic car accident he went back to United Kingdom for a week to be with his family. I could not go because I was in the middle of entertaining out of town clients for work. He did not seem to be upset that I could not go so I let him be. The next thing that I know, he reconnected with an old friend from high school that he had a crush on years ago and they started to have an affair! I had no clue what was going on until a month after he came back from United Kingdom.He proceeded to see both her and I until I caught him testing her one night. I confronted him and he told me the truth about what happened. We broke up and went our separate ways. Neither of us fought for our relationship. I was angry and decided not to be upset about it and just keep it moving. Then after about a month of not speaking to him I became sad. I wanted him to tell me that he wanted to be with me and not her. I contacted Dr.baba for a love spell and he totally helped me! he was able to get him to miss me to where he wanted to get back together again. He had a lot of regrets and felt bad for not fighting to keep me and for cheating in general. He values our relationship so much more now and we are together now! You can also get your lover back with the help of Dr. baba contact him through his email:baba100spelltemple@gmail.com
My ex boyfriend and I met when we were 18. When I first met him he was this shy, sweet, caring person who showed me ways of affection and consoled me when I needed. As we got older, we remained best friends, he was the shoulder to cry on when things got bad. He stood up for me in situations where other boys didn’t respect me for who I was. Then, he moved to a different state and began searching for a career. At this time we were in our 20s and he started adderall. He was still a good friend, but we would have infrequent encounters, due to the distance and when I saw him he wasn’t taking it. During this time, I noticed how fickle and indecisive he became about his relationships. As we got even older, he had to start taking more of the medication and even would take it on weekends, because he felt like the withdrawal effects made him seem unattractive and he wanted to be a more functional person. At this point we were in our late 20s and we decided to become romantic. We were together without a title in a long distance type of friendship, which didn’t work out because he was so up and down with his emotions. One day he wanted to be with me and the next day he wanted nothing to do with me. It seemed like some days he despised the sight of me. And some days he gazed lovingly into my eyes like I was a princess or someone important. It didn’t work out and because of how indecisive he was I stopped talking to him. He missed me and contacted me six months later. We saw each other at a late night club and he acted like this sweet man who i knew he could be, but it was late at night….his dosage was probably wearing off and i knew deep down there was another side to him, which at the time I was too naive to realize was adderall. We got back together in a long distance relationship. He was great at first, but once we started typical couple arguments and the “honey moon period” was over he couldn’t handle it. It seemed as though if our relationship wasn’t perfect he would freak out on me and hate me. Things got worse, dosages increased. He buried himself in work, high on adderall, working late nights…ignoring me more. I made plans to move from where I lived, which was a thousand miles away from him, to be with him, had plans to leave my family …friends and the career and life I built at 27 because I loved this man so much. We were both convinced that me moving will help fix how distant he was. After dating for ten months and a couple of months before my lease was up and I was ready to move…he calls me unexpectedly and tells me how annoying I am and that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I had just saw him two weeks ago prior to this and we were discussing living together and future plans. We were in contact again a few weeks later and he tells me he realized he needs to get help, because of how he treated me in our relationship and that he doesn’t know how he can be in any relationship due to the effects the drug has on him when he’s on and off of it. I asked him if he was giving me some false hope that he would try to change for me and get off this drug? But he told now that we’ve dated for 10 months and he got to know more parts of my personality he won’t want to be with me again. My feelings were distraught…I don’t know if that’s him or his adderall talking. I’ve been an amazing girlfriend to him, I’ve stayed by his side, let him treat me badly forgave to be with him. I was willing to give up my life I had built and start over by moving to a different state for him. I am definitely the pursuer of this relationship and he is the distant one. I am going to move on, but I feel so devastated that the love of my life was taken away from me because of a drug. And the worst part is that he acts as though he doesn’t care and I mean nothing to him, but I know I mean so much to him and this drug impairs his thoughts and emotions. I hope I move on, but the day that he’s off medication and realizes he still loves me will break my heart and a part of me will always be broken.
Good page. Hey, I’m 27 year old male from michigan. Been takin adderall since 21ish for college. I take it and get consumed in what I’m doing. I intentionally over take it to stay high, even though I always stay within my daily dosage which is 50mgs. I just separated from my gf who was a mess as well. She had very low self esteem among other problems. We were dependent on each other. We drank together constantly at first. We always fought and it got violent at times. She was very verbal and emotionally crippling.. Enough whining. I was distant from her when I’d take it. Moody. Cause I knew I didn’t want to be with her permanently and I knew how bad she was for me. As my dose wore off I’d get closer with her and we’d be very close and intimate. The drinking would immediately effect me in a way to become more close with her as well, but the speed rush would make me say shit she didn’t appreciate which led to fights. Using the drug made me so moody that I lost mostly all of my relationships from that or alcohol. On adderall I easily tell people what I think about them and pick them apart. I want things now and am willing to just talk and talk to try to convince someone to get what I want. Basically I stay focused on all the wrong stuff and waste a bunch of time trying to control a lot of things. It’s a waste. Now I’m forced to be sober cause i have a bunch of DUIs and lately i’ve been taking more adderall. When I get sad about my life situation I take more adderall and don’t eat as if to punish myself. I’ve tried quitting a bunch of times with the same results. It may last a few weeks at the most, with good results in my romantic relationship, but then I start taking little bits and more and more and it ruins us. I guess I never really accepted that I was the problem but honestly I can track the last four months and see when things were their best I wasn’t taking the drug. However, the downside of it is that I don’t get much done without it. I can’t be single like at all so i always end up being with women I can treat bad because I get annoyed by them often. We’ll see what happens. The best plan is to keep taking it at focus on myself/career and not problems and stay single and advance fast.
Adderall is a lot like the drug in the movie LIMITLESS… When I saw that movie I honestly thought that was adderall.
Want a quitting buddy or to converse? sgossett9@gmail.com
If someone could give me advice I’d appreciate it…. My girlfriend was on adderall when we first met and we have been together and in love since, but she realized she had a problem and wanted to quit. Well she got sick and ended up quitting cold turkey. Her sickness combined with the withdrawal made her cling on to me (in which I didn’t mind, actually welcomed it) anywho once she got better, she started questioning if we should be together or not, and she’s distancing herself more than ever. (We also live together so it is a lot I get it)….. I guess should I be hopeful and patient? Is this back and forth mindset because she’s off adderall? Is it because she simply doesn’t need me anymore? I’m in love with this girl, and don’t want to lose her.
After reading BRUNELDA NATO comment on laurenconrad. com about Metodo helping her cast a spell to fix her relationship, i was hmm.. will say considering doing the same thing cos my life was a total mess. On one hand my girlfriend now soon to be fiancé parent did not want me to be their son-in-law cos i did not belong to the upper class community and on the other hand, i moved from Latvia where my life and job was to be with my soon to be fiancé in Azerbaijan. I had no home there but just the apartment we both bought together. If am not mistaking her father is a famous lawyer to almost every rich person in Azerbaijan. She was going to help me get a job in her father law firm before she broke up with me because she was going to marry one of her father client. All this was before i contacted Metodo to see what he could for me. As i said her father was against our relationship and she was going to marry a 53 years old man for his money. She has always loved materials things but i never thought she would pick money over me. We were still see each other not as lover but secret lovers. I loved her too much to be sharing with a disgusting old man because he was rich. I don’t mean to disrespect any elderly person i just don’t like it when rich old or young persons try to take or take someone you hold dearly to your heart cos they have the money to do so. In my own case it happened that it was an old rich man wanting to take the woman i loved and still loved with all my heart and strength. She didn’t want to marry me but she wanted to be my lover in secret. I knew she loved me dearly but she was also in love with all the money and assets the man had. she knew i was content with what i had and what she had but she wanted to be so rich like adding riches ti what she already had. The date of the wedding was already set when i realized that if i don’t do something to stop the wedding i would lost her forever. It happened that i came across BRUNELDA NATO comment on laurenconrad. com as i search the INTERNET on how to make a woman realize living without you will be a great mistake where she wrote how metodo the spell caster helped her fix her marriage and how she came face to face in contact with Metodo and also how real and awesome he is. I just felt compelled to also contact him for help maybe i was not thinking clearly or i felt it was my only chance to make sure she soon to be fiancé doesn’t marry anyone else but me or maybe i felt both ways. I know something was clear to me that whatever action i took was my last chance to win her back. There and then i contacted Metodo cos i had no money to travel all the way to Chad. I just trusted BRUNELDA NATO testimony that he really exist and can help me solve my problem. It turned out that BRUNELDA NATO was right. Now i can also truthfully tell you that Metodo is really something out of ordinary he is the greatest spell caster you can ever meet. He sent me some items that he told me to use to pray with within the 7 days he was casting the spell i asked him to help me cast with the materials he told me to provide to for the spell casting. Within those seven days of incantation pray my soon to be fiancé developed something i don’t know what to call in her head that made the love she had for me resurface i say resurface love because she became that girl i fell in love with back in Latvia she told me she was going to call of the wedding but was scared what would happen to her father relationship with the man. But all those worried faded when Metodo sent the spell that looked like a powdery substances with instruction on how to make it effective. She called off the wedding and nothing happened it was like no one cared anymore not the man or her parent almost like it idea was yipped of their head. Whether anyone believe me or not it does really matter the only thing i care to say here is that Metodo is the ultimate spell caster anyone can ever ask for help. Am going to leave his mail in case Metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com
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Hi there, I recently fell head over heels for a guy who I thought was perfect for me in every way. We had amazing conversation and shared a lot of the same viewpoints of many important topics. When we met in person, we even had more in common our dream of sailing the world. We share a lot of similar interests except one. Everything was going perfect on our first date, until he told me he was taking adderall for his adhd. I knew something was very wrong intuitively from that moment. I realized that was why I got the “tweeker” vibe when I first met him….his eyes were all bugged out but he told me he was drug free and a non smoker and non drinker. The next day after our date, I spilled my beans about how I felt and that I would only be involved with him if he stopped the adderall. He told me we would talk about it later. But he has yet to call me. I have pursued him all I can and now have let it go. I have sent him emails and texts and tried calling him a bunch of times. But nothing. I told him we could be friends and I would break my rule of not having any guy friends, because I love him that much. But still nothing. He was adopted at five, and I realize he also may have deep seeded abandonement issues that I may have uprooted when I initially was backing away….Should I just give this one up? Is he a lost cause? Will he ever come back to me? I think he has been taking adderall for over ten years. I know it is poisoning him…I just want to help him. But more importantly I feel like I don’t know if I will ever meet anyone who made me feel the way he did, because of our conversations and deep similarities. Please help me I feel very lost in this situation.
Maximum Love,
Maybe I can help. I took Adderall for about ten years and today marks my 52nd day without it. I was in a relationship from years 4-8 of that decade and Adderall had major effects on that romance (mostly negative).
I remember telling my girlfriend early on that I was on Adderall. I was afraid of her reaction because like you, I placed it in the same category as drugs and alcohol. It was kind of a vice, and I was kind of a buggy-eyed tweaker like your man. If my girlfriend had given me an ultimatum, saying that I’d have to quit the pill to be with her, she wouldn’t have had a chance. I might have tried to quit to stay with her, but then I’d sneak in a pill here and there, gradually get back on the routine, and lie about it until she found out.
Luckily, she was of the camp who view Adderall as a medicine, so she simply didn’t care (perhaps due to a lack of understanding).
My point is, you can’t make this guy quit just because you want him to. He is acting reasonably by ignoring you, sorry to say. I know you want to help him, but it sounds like you also want to control him in a way you don’t even understand. You don’t know what it’s like to quit Adderall (although if you spend enough time on this site, you’ll get the picture). Just because you’ve come to the conclusion that Adderall is poisoning him doesn’t mean he agrees. You’re demanding a lot from this poor boy without adequately considering his perspective. If you love him so much, why do you need to change him?
It’s great that you told him how you feel about Adderall. You went too far by demanding that he stop. Why should you expect a call back from him when he knows you’re judging him for his medication? Suppose he did answer the phone one day. Would you ask whether he is still taking Adderall? He is, and he certainly doesn’t want to talk about that with you. Even if you didn’t ask, the tension would be so thick and both of you would be thinking about his Adderall usage. This is a source of shame for him in your relationship now, due to your ultimatum. He’d rather avoid that shameful awkwardness indefinitely.
I failed in my relationship, so my advice should be taken with a grain of non-amphetamine salt. But here it goes. Your only chance of getting this boy back into your life is by first sincerely withdrawing your ultimatum, apologizing, and demonstrating that you do want to understand him better rather than merely judge his behaviors according to your preconceived notions of chemical acceptability. You’re right that Adderall is poisoning him in some way, but that doesn’t give you the right to demand a sudden and undesired change in his lifestyle.
And remember, there are plenty of guys out there who don’t take Adderall if that’s truly important to you. It’s a lot harder to make a perfect boyfriend than it is to find him.
Good luck.
Have never believed in the supernatural or talk less of spell or even voodoo. In my head there was nothing on earth that was ever going to get me involved in such thing but life as we know throw s**t at your door and some how the doors opens up and let it strike you. ************* About five years ago if anyone had asked me if i trust my twin sister with my life, believe me i would bet my life on it that i can. I couldn’t even bring myself to think that my twin sister can put a knife at my back Yes i know everything about our childhood and youth age was always about who is better that who in everything and frankly i was better that me in academic aspect of life. I was smarter more skilled that her but this ought to be no reason to want to have every guy that was dating me or should it? cos the last i checked twin protect themselves not try and hurt the other. That was what my twin sister is all about. Even though we looked identical she was cuter than i was. She had her way around boys more that i did. Like she knew how to get what she want in whatever way she wanted it from both boys and girls. I don’t know, she had a way or rather she was good at messing around with peoples brain not like in a psychic way, it was more like all about her body. In other words you can say she was very sexy, attractive and hard to resist. I have always had to work very had to get what i want but she, things just falls in her lap without having to labor for it. She falls for every guy she knows i like. I mean every guy i dated in high school broke up with me to date her and it was really hurtful for me. I thought it was just high school and boys cos in college it wasn’t like that and for the first time in forever, not that i thought but the comparison between us over. Some how the old life we had arose again this time it happen that the guy my sister fell for, fell for me and i fell for him also i made sure it was okay with her before i went on the first date with him. I don’t want this to seem like a story so i will just cut to the chase. My twin sister was having an affair with my long time boyfriend the every guy one we both fell for but picked me. I mean i only found out the day he told me was no longer want to be with me that he was in love with my twin sister and he has been cheating on me with her. This was after four year of dating. I was heart broken and i wished to God that he had told me he was sleeping with me and my twin sister when our relationship was still young i would have like always, backed down and let them bask in what ever they think they were doing. But no they waited and in the process i fell deeply in love with him. I mean who wouldn’t fall for him he was cute caring and always knew what to say at the right time. I know i ought to have been mad at him for what he did but i was more mad at my sister for what she did cos i mean if she had turned him down he would have left her on her own and she was not even sorry for what she did to me. she became my twin sister in high school all again wanting to hurt and ruin my life steal the man i love. Heaven knew i was in love with this guy and hating him was not even an option for me all the hatred was channeled to my twin sister cos some how she made him hers. I lived in pain for a whole year having to see her face every family thanksgiving day with the man i love sitting side by side kissing him and hugging maybe to piss me off or something it only made me hate her more and more desperate to get my boyfriend back. I got him back finally yes i did, but i can fail to say i did not use the normal way. Metodo Acamu help me cast a spell to kill their relationship and rekindle ours to how we were before they started their affair. In case you asking asking yourself how possible it is believe me i don’t know and won’t tell you i understand cos like i said i never in my life thought it would result to me using a spell or something but there is one thing i know is that the spell worked for me and made my love fall in love with me again. There not much i can say to emphasize how the spell worked all i know is that i was asked to get some materials for the spell of which i was to buy and go present the materials myself to Metodo Acamu or send over or send the expenditure to him to get the materials need for the spell. To me it was less expensive to wire the cash to him to get the materials cos they are the expert in it. But i know in the end METODO ACAMU pulled through with the spell and made me whole again. Like honestly my main purpose for writing this was to let those out there know that other comment about METODO on the internet is really cos here i am tell you my story it can get anymore real than it is already. I can never forgive my twin sister even though i have got my love back. Use this email address as METODO ACAMU contact {metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com} note, do not space this email address when contacting him……..
I was literally given a prescription for adderall by a doctor 10 years ago for ADD. I told her I did not want it because I used to take it to get high in high school. She said to me that it wasn’t like that when you take it everyday. Fast forward 10 years and really I have no idea who I am. I have been off it from time to time. Its not that hard to get off, you just can’t have anything important at all in your life. That’s a problem. I just got a raise at work for the second time this year. Why? Probably because I work and work and work and enjoy doing what everyone else around me doesn’t. Its not like that all the time of course. There are days when I can tell I’m just like whatever, but regardless I will keep busy. When I was 17 i worked at staples and used to poke holes in bottles of water, not work, and sleep in chairs hidden in the back. I almost got fired and I told my manager to give me 2 more weeks because I was getting on something that would help. 2 Weeks later he approached me and said it was night and day transformation. So yes the doctor was right. It isnt a high everyday. It has helped me become who I am. Problem is that is the adderall. It is not me not matter how I look at it or lie to myself. On the relationship side, push pull for sure, adderall kept me with a girl for 2 years. She wouldn’t have put up with the crying lazy version of me. I ultimately left her for my ex. Whom I believe to be my true soul mate. She was there 2 years ago when I was off adderall. She provided me with all the love you could give. She worked and I sat on my bed downloading movies all day. This went on for at least a year. I finally got back on my adderall and here I am today. From 12 an hour to 15 in 4 months time at a place I had already gotten fired from. What got me rehired? A letter to the boss and adderall. Over the summer my girlfriend cheated on me. I later found out it was because I was completely ignoring her. I wasn’t even aware. I was competently unaware of how focused I was, on the wrong things. But she will never know that the whole time I felt love for her. Thought about her. Did everything I did before except this time I was active with some hobby or project. Since then things have been cleared up and we are back together happily. I laid all my dirt on the table as well which made me feel better and we worked out and forgave each other what we had both done. Its been great since but as I slowly have unintentionally upped my dose at work I find myself doing things like playing with legos for far too long on our us time orbeing distracted by the lawn mower guys when she comes to see me on lunch. Not to mention jealous since the year before to proove my rehire worthiness i transformed the property to perfection with adderall. So watching someone else do my thing while on adderall with my girlfriend at work in a car to eat food…those ALL don’t mix. I often think about how badly I want to hold or hug cuddle or feel something at all. But with the adderall I just cant. I cant describe it. Its just a dull sad distancing feeling. Behind it is a strong desire to be able to do these things. I do love you and love paying attention to you. It happens with me and my family too. They understand the adderall is a problem. There is many arguments where I remind them I take speed for breakfast and lunch everyday. I’ve been on a 10 year high with no comedown. Excuse me for becoming 10000x more lazy and irresponsible while I am withdrawing and distant acting like I don’t give a shit when I am on it. Inside I do but they can;t see that. Then I yell or something or seem in a bad mood and ruin vibes. Or over talk about things that just lead down the wrong paths. They understand what I go through but they quickly forget. They wont understand without the drug. I just don’t care. I have no feelings. I am a zombie enslaved with the desire to build. It will either get better or fall apart on each side of the pill. I was gonna leave a small comment but guess what. I am on adderall so it turned into a story instead….. The old me would be too lazy and goofy to focus on playing with legos but instead be rolling around on my bed hugging my girlfriend with giddiness. I miss the giddiness. I feel joker to batman – “why so serious?” Never realized how bad this is until I wrote this. I’ve tried before but this time I think I pulled it off well. Doctor was right – It isn’t the same when you take it every day. I shoulda stuck to getting high with it and the worse part is I am aware in love with how it has helped me function as society requires me too. In order to function properly one must continue his increased dose as dropping down will only make you take more. When you can finally drop down you feel lazy but can still make it through the day. You feel more depressed and will probably want to cry a lot. I hope this helps someone. Everyone wants adderall. It truly is the magical drug. However I advise anyone thinking about trying stimulants for medicinal purposes only keep moving forward and forget about it. In the end all you do is ask yourself if you’re crazy or not as you come down and take your sedative to smooth the rest of the day out. Then repeat it in the morning. Lets not even get into klonopins effects. Although a great combo I cannot say much good about this one either. It works but do I even need it or was the adderall just making me more anxious? The only drug I take and like is Lamictal – It works with little to no side effect. It makes me nice, calm and stable and helps a bit with the stimulant side off adderall. ohh there is just so much to say…..and it always leads back to adderall….my new doctor asked me if adderall was my secret weapon at work. I was waiting for him to pull my script. I agreed but then replied how without it I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it. It almost felt like he was about to pull my script. Unfortunately I take it as prescribed so there’s no need to take it away. I don’t abuse or sell it. It abuses me. I need those pills to function. This time last year I was now on month 3 of being back on it and my life did a 360 but right before that I had no chemical dependance for it and had trouble with readjusting to being on it. but as the dose crept up from 15 to 30 to 45 and to 60 my actual prescribed dose. The best part is it works the best and I am not distracted by anything at all. I wonder how many CEO’s take adderall. Notice how many times I said adderall……good luck to us all. BTW I am 29 year old male. I started adderall when I was 19. 10 years of my life formed by a pill. The hardest part is asking yourself who am I really? Not to mention the sexual side effects which are so persistent it can also push women away or keep you in front of a screen masturbating all day. I KNOW the men can relate. ok im done. Thanks for reading. mypclifeguard@gmail.com if anyone wants to talk. It might help us all who knows.
My (ex) boyfriend and i met this year. he was special to me. we fell in love. he was on adderall the whole time. he started to distance himself. i yearned for something more on dating sites but i couldn’t find the courage to do so. I would be left alone and he would spend time on his own. he wouldn’t text me outside of our face to face meetings. he accuses me of being clingy and angry when i’m just frustrated with his addiction. i suffer from bipolar disorder and i’ve been recently trying to get help. he thinks i’m needy and that Im doing all of this for him and not for myself. He wants to distance himself from me and we’ve hit our breaking point today on our anniversary. I love him with all my heart…but he thinks im weighing him down. I’m tired of taking responsibility for everything. I’m tired of feeling abandoned. I would love to work things out but part of me is thinking he is distancing himself because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore.He claims he wants to be friends with me but I don’t even think he can achieve that. He’s hardheaded and not willing to change. I feel like i’m going to have to cut all ties with him for my own good. He’s tearing me apart.
Just adk 10th 2014. But I was on Adderall for about 5 years and it is the only drug that completely turns you into a “Great,exciting,lively,spontaneous,loving” person for the first few weeks. After that no matter,how much I took it just made me feel crappier and care less about everything…I was at times taking more than 200mg a day even at 1am and could still fall asleep in a half hour… I will Be back later to finish.I just wanted to get something up here,But I must be somewhere 29 minutes ago.ttys
My partner of 21 years began taking adderall prescribed for a sleep disorder and to boost his mood. He talks incessantly about fantastical plans and ideas and gets hurt and angry if I indicate that I am bored or overwhelmed with the detail he adds to EVERYTHING, or even have to go to the bathroom because he has talked so muc. I literally cannot get a word in edgrpewise. I know the second the amphetamine has kicked in and know then that any chancre we have for authentic connection and communication are gone for the day. NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO ME…not his prescriber nor him. His parents are beginning to see it, but are helpless to help. I feel so fucking sad and alone and abandoned, all because of this cursed drug !!! He rarely if ever touches me anymore and has no libido. I am certain he lost his job because if such hyper focus he couldn’t’r keep up…focused for hours off the track of his job, pursuing the crazy ideas of a man who is high on speed. I love this man and have for years, but he is simply no longer here. Am I losing it ? Does anyone else feel the same espxperiene ? I need some fucking connection with others who believe what I am living !
Exactly I year ago I met the love of my life. I was a 19 year old girl at the time and he and I were in love from the moment we met. I have taken adderal since I was about 16. I have had similar emotional issues with it as explained above.
I switched to vyvanse (basically the same as adrenal) to fix these issues. As I am in college, I would drink heavily on vyvanse and sometimes I would abuse it to make me more social. This was a horrible idea that destroyed my relationship.
It would make me turn into this horrible emotional monster – I was not myself. I would become engulfed in emotion and dramatically blame EVERYTHING on my boyfriend. So many nights ended in screaming and tears that were completely pointless. It was humiliating for myself and him.
During one of my vyvanse and alcohol fuled mental breakdowns, I got so mad at him I ran all the way to my ex boyfriend’s apartment from years ago and layed on his stoop in tears, thinking my life and my relationship was hopeless. I cheated on the love of my life with my ex boyfriend who had treated me horribly.
I know if it were not for the vyvanse and alcohol perverting and contorting my brain I would have never done this. I confessed to my boyfriend because my soul was black with guilt. He left me, and I don’t know how to move forward. I am devastated.
I would do ANYTHING, i mean ANYTHING, to have never been prescribed this medication. Every problem in my relationship has been a result of vyvanse/adderall and alcohol. Please, think before you mix these.
I and my boyfriend have been dating for four year now and just last three months he told me, he no longer have feeling for me. He did not just say it like that he made it seem like it was his fault. He was like he has been thinking about his life and he feels like he doesn’t know himself anymore and that he doesn’t want to hurt me in the processes. I mean we all know those line i have used them and we all have the next words are always “I think we should take a break” which mean i want out of this relationship. I wish he told me all those things before he asked me to marry him i would totally move on with my life but now, it turn out that we were already engaged and for six months at that. I felt bonded to him my whole heart beats and skips just for him for the record his name is Sean. I tried all i could to get by knowing or having the thought in my heart that we could still fix us only to realize he broke up with me to actually date a girl i he meant. It was like he got tired of me or something. I basically never turned any of his request down what ever it was. Sean was literally the first guy i had sex with the every first day i meant them. Usually i make them wait for 40 day but with Sean everything felt right. Anytime i was with him i felt this pain in my heart it was like its bleeding but it was bleeding love. It was so magically that i can’t just explain it. So living without him knowing he left me for another girl was torture. I tried to talking to him in every way i could to make him see i love him but it was impossible. He made me feel like trash like am good for nothing and he called me fat and ugly. That really broke me down i could not believe it that of every person i have ever dated the one i love the most called me fat and ugly. My friends asked me to stop fooling myself trying to make him love me again but i was too in love i mean the heart wants what it wants right? and the more i tried the more he hated me. I was tagged by his new girlfriend and himself a sociopath. I was losing it and i fell into depression. Heaven know i was gonna kill myself because i really had nothing to leave for and he didn’t even care if i lived or died. I know this sound crazy but it was just what happened. Though we dating again with the help of a great and reliable witchdoctor Metodo Acamu, it still hurts a lot that i had to pass through all those pain. All my friend thought i was crazy because even when they tried to help me i pushed them all away so basically i was all alone in my world of pain i had already given up on life i mean i thought to myself if can’t have Sean, i was not going to live to watch him be happy with someone else. As foolish and crazy as this my sound , it was what i almost did. I was going to kill him and kill myself after wards. I don’t know, some how, maybe the universe wasn’t totally again me i came across the name witch doctor Metodo Acamu and his email address on the Internet there were a lot of comments on how real, nice and how much he has helped a lot of people fix there relationship , money issues, jobs and lottery ticket i thought contacting him was the last thing i should try before pushing on with my plan to take the life of the man i love. Believe me i was so lucky to have contacted him. He told me if i had killed Sean i would have tried in so many ways to kill myself to join him but it won’t have worked. I don’t know how true that is but i know that i was asked to get some materials for the witch doctor to make a spell that will reunite me and my fiancé. I sent him the money for the materials only because i could not get them anyway. He helped me a lot he sent a package for me with ups of which i paid for to get to me from an international. He told me to say what i want when burning the content of package with something that has the smell of incense and that in seven days Sean will be mine again and believe me please that was just what happened. It was so spiritual and out of earth that i could not understand how but i knew it worked for me and it is totally safe like Metodo Acamu told me. I know this all sound crazy but its so true and real life so. You can only know when those who need Metodo Acamu help get it. Contact him her metodoacamufortressx@ yah oo. com and please use this email in the regular format
Wife on it. Her distancing and under independence make me desperate to pursue in an effort to save our once profound intimacy, sex, and marriage. Motivated by her own anger, she judges, analyzes and blames me for her triangulation with our kids. While pursuing her, she puts up more walls of rage and exhausts herself with her own amped drive to act in charge instead of admitting she is overwhelmed and appreciating our interdependence.
The more compassion I have for her the less she has for me. Now she wants me and our son on it and distorts our histories to fuel her righteous indignation.
I cried reading T’s comments about his parents and his fears that he would fail to meet their academic expectations if he stopped using Adderol. Let me make one thing very clear, many of us parents are fools, we get caught up in our children’s glory and stupidly bask in the limelight of their winnings but no parent who is deserving of the honor of being a mom or dad ever wants their offspring dependent on a drug to feel self worth, especially at the expense of self acceptance, dignity, happiness, knowledge, trust, awareness and human connectiveness. I want T to scream NO at the top of his lungs. NO!!! He wrote his note in 2009 and I want to hear they he has learned to say no to conformity and been gentle with himself. That he has take. a path less traveled snd “it has made all the difference” (frost). Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t be afraid to trust yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to be honest about your limitations and fears, your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t be afraid yo step back or away. To take a Year or two off from college and work for a national park or at starbucks or Park City or Vail as a ski bum. If most of us have about 78 years of life in which to live a life worthy of dignity, we should take the time to feel and breathe and really truly see the world around us. So T, you are wrong about your parents if you think they would want you to take Adderol to get through college. College is meant for experiencing the joy of thinking, challenging, learn what principles you really believe in and it is a time to ask a zillion rhetorical questions even if you throw out 90% of the answers and return to the ones you had a 12. Believe me I would rather have my son or daughter graduate with a 2.5 Anywhere-degree and $60,000 worth of debt on my shoulders but with convictions and confidence, dreams and curiousity than a 4.0 adderol-dependent Ivy degree Any day. Fight for yourselves. Forgive yourselves. Don’t be afraid to be your selves.
This post was my relationship spot on. My ex would tell me that I was being a ass and being mean and not caring about her feelings and I just kept denying it and denying it. She broke up with me and now I have stopped taking adderall and to look at everything now I was really selfish and it was bad. I didn’t give the love, time and respect she deserved and the bad thing is I really had no idea I was like that. I would fight about everything just pick fights. I’d be selfish and not think about what she would want to do. I’m really not like that off adderall and it really breaks my heart knowing I treated someone so bad that I still to this day care about so much.
I recommend this spell caster to anyone in need of help getting back ex lover. Use his services, contact robinsonbuckler@ yah oo. com
Good article, interesting perspective on the dynamics of relationships. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years, and he’s been inconsistently using his adderall prescription for the majority of that time for ADHD. I have felt like I am walking on eggshells for the majority of our relationship because I never know what mood he is going to be in. (I know I know, why didn’t I just leave and find someone I could be comfortable with, but unfortunately I let my depression control me and bought in to the whole “it’s my fault” scenario, mistakes were made.) It took me a while to put 2 and 2 together, but everything made sense once I started paying attention to when he was on and off adderall. I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he just brushes me off or blames me. It takes about 3 to 4 days of consistent use before I can hardly stand being around him, because he is just so angry and mean (never physically abusive), for what to me seems like no reason other than “i’m not listening and doing what he says the first time”. We’ve taken a few breaks over the course of our relationship and I was trying to leave again when I found out I was pregnant 6 months ago. So now I really am stuck, I have to find a way to deal with this. When he gets mean, most of the time I just walk away and give him space and sleep in the other room for my own mental health. It just feels like i’m in a relationship with someone who hates me when he’s on it. I’ve thought about talking to his doctor to see if there’s anything else he can take. Has anyone else tried/had success with this? Any other coping mechanisms to try? Thanks.
This comment i Susan is placing is not like the day by day advert you read online before!! Its a comment that you must read to avoid been ripped off and know the real spell caster on earth God sent to change and turn lives around without any harm / side effect.
I am so over joyful as my month can not start to say all that really happened, It happened when i saw Ajayi advert online talking about been the best when there are so many spell casters online that i have used that has failed me.I spent almost close to $8000 dollars online for those spell casters that ripped me off my money without any result. But when i saw Dr Ajayi advert online saying that there is no spell caster like him and so many other testimonies about him from various people and from various countries in the world were it was written that ololo spell temple is the best that there is non to be compared to his work, Already i have personally take a decision never to apply to any spell caster online again after loosing such amount of funds on line to those scammers.But i don’t really know what drew my spirit / attention to that advert online that faithful afternoon, { I call it a faithful afternoon because all i desire was granted to me. } There was an email at the end of his advert and on the good comment from the FBI and various people about him, I decided to send him an email telling him my problem about my lost job, money that i have lost to scammers and also having problems with the love of my life that i want to get married to. After some few minutes i received an email from him that contain the spell application form that i filled out and he told me that to get my spell casted that i will have to get some items that i could not get here when i went in-search for it. He said if i can not get the items, That is going to cost me an amount of just $390 dollars for my kind of case that i told him about which i doubted to be another scam online, As i have read so many tips online that money should not be sent to someone you do not know via western union / money gram payment information’s. And Dr Ajayi insisted that i will be sending money to his messenger via this wire means. I was so skeptical because i was scammed in such a way of $700 dollars before,But this same spirits that attracted me to his advert told me inside again that this spell caster is real and noting but real that i should go ahead and send him the amount since i know that there is no how i can get the items that he told me that will be needed for my case. I sent him the charges through his messenger to please help me get the item with the money to get my spell casted.He promised me that in the next 5 to 7 hours that i will start to see results after the spell has been casted to get the love of my life back and others. I could not believe this because i have really been scammed and ripped off too many times for me to just believe till it works. To be sincere i almost faint as i was filled with so much excitement and happiness when my lost lover for over almost 9 months call was entering my phone and i picked the call were he ask if we can see to take things over and also my boss called me to tell me to come for training on my terminated job also due to too many thinking that in the office that result to it. Then in the next 2 days the FBI called to tell me that they have been able to get the scammer that is with my money. I am so proud and happy to spread the good-news about this man because he surprised me in his wonderful and powerfully work that restored back to me my heart desires. One thing that i also loved about this man is that he is understandable and he reduce or negotiate how much you can get for the work you want him to help you with. You want to meet with this great,most powerful spell caster that is 100% scam free,Just send your emails to this email: ajayiololo@ yah oo. com as you will get help from him without any disappointment.
Need help too.
I have been married for 20+ years. Recently my wife was diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderall.It does help her greatly with focusing on a single task and puts her head to rest at night helping her sleep. When the med tapers off she feels very anxious and hates the way she feels without it. I do feel for her and her condition and am glad the med helps her in these ways. Problem being as many have stated here, she has become very distant with me and has no interest in being close with me in any manner. If I attempt to hug or even non-sexually touch her she wants nothing to do with it. I have tried to talk with her about the way she is treating our relationship and she has no explanation; she does recognize what she is doing but can’t explain it other than she feels numb. I love her dearly and want nothing more than for us to get through this together, but everyone has a breaking point when you feel like you are no longer wanted or needed anymore.
素晴らしい見ているそれらを探して、セドナゴールドで高級なオメガスピードマスターは、ちょうどギフト2015年のオメガスピードマスタームーンウォッチと数えられた版。 オーデマ・ピゲ時計コピー 全く奇妙な響きのある名前ではないのを見て、本当にあなたがどれだけ美しいこの新しいパンダダイヤルオメガスピードマスタームーンウォッチのルックスに焦点のためのデザイン・インスピレーションを理解するのを助けることを無視します。2015年までにずるくバーゼルでリリースされて、この新しいオメガスピードマスターは、金の価格を出すことをそれらのコレクターのためのヒットになりそうです。また、オメガスピードマスタームーンウォッチの数えられた版39.7mmウォッチはまた、しばしば空間における「第1のオメガスピードマスター」と呼ばれ、と私のようなより良い名前が私がこのレビューのように腕時計を参照していますので。 http://www.ooobrand.com/intqual/index.html
ビートの秒針の左側に何か他のものに興味があります。これは「飛行時間ダイヤルとそれが本当に性筋膜の手の一種である。完全な革命が各々の第2の手を持っているいくつかのを見て、我々はそれらを参照としての「飛ぶ」の理由は、彼らがとても速く動くように見えるということです、時計屋は彼らが飛んでいる」と言います。 ブレゲスーパーコピー 「伝統の手によりはむしろ、デウィット・2つの重なり合うディスクを開発した。ディスクに小さな穴があります、そして、上ディスクに移動するとき、それはダイヤルの上にユニークなアニメーションを作成します。 http://www.fujisanbrand.com/watch/iwc/index_6.html
バセロンコンスタンチン（Vacheron Constantin）「花たゆう時光」時計芸術テーマ展が上海ヴァシュロン・コンスタンタンの家の開幕。バセロンコンスタンチンからジュネーヴ博物館の花卉芸術骨董表、金や最新の花の神殿シリーズの腕時計、Cartier時計コピー完璧な融合タブ工芸と花卉芸術表現タブ大師の好プレーとアイデアの夢。有名な時計収蔵下僕にさんも現場へ。 http://www.wtobrand.com/hec5.html
My heart goes out to all the stories I see here. Why have none of you tried Nootropics instead? They have no weirdness like Amphetamines.
My loving girlfriend of 7 1/2 years (and engaged for 2 years) has been struggling with inattentive ADD coupled with depression, anxiety, social anxiety for years. Our relationship had a very co-dependent feel to it, but it brought us closer together and became the “norm”. We WERE each others best friends, always wondering what we were up to. She had been on vyvanse a few years back and lost a lot of weight but we still managed to keep things together. Fast forward to three months ago—she got prescribed vyvanse again (to be able to gather thoughts and clean before family came to town). I saw an immediate great change. Motivation to clean, energy, even brought her libido back. After that one month of vyvanse, she had to switch to adderall XR because her insurance didn’t cover the vyvanse. She was prescribed 30 mg of XR, but it was too much for her system and she tapered off. She booked an emergency appointment with her psychiatrist and got prescribed 15 mg XR and that’s when everything fell apart. Suddenly she became distant, didn’t give a crap what I was doing or how I felt. We had plans for marriage, children, and a long distance move. She ended our relationship a little over a month into taking the 15 mg XR. I then came to find out that she traded coworkers for additional adderall instant relief that she has been popping on extra long or tiring days. She is now moving by herself, could care less about me or our plans, treats me like dirt, has been lieing and has said that we are done forever. All since taking adderall. Adderall, and frankly many of the ADD drugs are scum. How about some therapy/psychotherapy. Not if these individuals can put a thin band aid on deep wounds, wind up addicted, and ruining great loving relationships.
Hi This is going to be long, but please hear me out. Im looking for anyone who can help, my email will be attached at the end.
Okay I just want to add to the responder ‘Greg’ not only is Adderall with Niki ruining her romantic relationships but it’s also ruining her other relationships. I am Niki’s cousin. We are exactly one year apart (she’s one year older). We grew up and we’re raised together by our grandparents, so we were more like sisters. We were attached at the hip, and always honest with each other. I had visited Niki and Greg in February of 2016 when she first began her treatment for ADHD. Of course it was when she was on Vyvanse. But shortly after I left to go back home she was switched over to Adderall XR for insurance reasons. She expressed her fear of the drug to me however I told her it’d be okay, I was on the same drug for my ADHD and it was working well for me (however I took stimulants on a daily basis such as caffeine in large quantities because I work nights) and I was able to cut down on the amount of caffeine I was taking because the Adderall helped keep me alert. I am also on Setraline and Levothyroxine which are two other stimulants. So she gave Adderall a chance and of course her psychiatrist gave her a higher dose than she could handle and she could longer function, she explained it felt like she was on methamphetamines. She twitched and couldnt stop scratching at herself. So she immediately saw her psychiatrist to get a smaller dose and she said it felt so much better. Fast forward to 2 weeks or so and she contacted me explaining she no longer wanted to be with Greg. I calmly questioned her, they seemed happy, I was just around both of them 2 months prior. She had told me she met someone else, someone nearly twice her age, and explained to me that they were soul mates. She explained that he opened her mind the way no one else has, and he inspired her to be a better and more creative person. I supported her not knowing what was about to happen. Of course I was skeptical, this man was 40, a tattoo artist (I have tattoos and would like to become one myself, so I’m not hating) and occasionally appeared on TV (I’m not disclosing his name). She told me she would never sleep because she was staying up all night to talk with him and then she would go to work during the day. So she was slowly losing her mind due to not sleeping and being lead down a different thought path by this man. She contacted me again saying she was going to New York City to meet him in person for the first time, he bought and booked her a ticket to spend the weekend with him. I texted her after he trip to ask her how everything went, of course she said he was amazing. However before her trip I told her I had a bad feeling (her and I have always been on the intuitive side, we deeply believe in the spirit world) and I felt like she was going to find out he wasn’t what she thought. But when I spoke to her she said they were soulmates. She had just told me Greg was her soulmate 2 and half months prior. Fast forward and other 2 weeks or so and shes speaking with another guy. So I contact her and I ask her what going on (this is where I realized something was really wrong). She explained to me that man was not what she thought he was going to be and he was really strange and freaked her out but while she was in NYC she had met someone else and they exchanged phone numbers. Well her and this new guy have been talking non stop, even more than she was talking to the 40 year old tattoo artist. And she explained to me that this new guy was it, he was the one. Her soulmate (hmmm… I’ve heard this before). She explained to me that him and her have had the same exact upbringing and they ended up exactly the same. (I’m a big believer on nature vs. Nurture and). I explained to her that wasn’t weird at all, yet she insisted that it was so strange & unlikely and that they were ‘twin flames’. She then began to become engulfed in this infatuation with this new guy because she believed she was experiencing a spiritual awakening and the universe brought them together. So I watched my closest friend, my sister, my cousin, become a shell of a human. She does not care about anyone or anything anymore even though she claims to be an empath. She forces herself, this new guy and myself into a three way conversation so I can be convinced they were the same soul. However I watched my cousin say and post awful things I’ve never seen her say or post before. It was a behavior unrecognizable to me. She started to post pictures of child in third world countries starving to death and being tortured and laughed about it. She made fun of fat people, minorities and the under privileged. Of course being an empath myself I had to remove myself from their conversations because the things they were posting hurt my heart and made me cry way too often. I felt for the people she was bullying. Before I left the conversation I told both of them that they should be ashamed of themselves and if they were truly spiritual empath humans that were on a higher level than anyone else they would not even think to look down upon anyone, specially the less privileged. I privately messaged my cousin, I told her I did not like this guy, I could tell he was a bad person and I could not handle what he was doing to her. She then viciously responded with telling me she was on a spiritual journey, and I didn’t understand. And I didn’t know their story (their month and a half old story mind you) and I she could no longer talk to me because I was too negative for her. (me, negative? The things she was posting was some of the most negative things I’ve seen her say/post). So I left the conversation with telling her that she is loved and nothing is going to change that and I hope she finds peace. She then responded with stating she is at peace, she loves herself, she is using her third eye (another concept I do believe in), and that she believed I was just scared of myself. Of course I struggle with depression, anxiety, adhd and hypothyroidism. And sometime my mindset can scare me, but I know how to calm myself and continue a new. I explained I was not scared of myself, and that I was scared of her and that I could see she was not the person I knew just 2 months ago! And all she had to say was “that’s OK”. She moved in with our grandparents, who both have cancer, in order to “take care of them”, however she has told me and Greg that she is okay of they die. The very thought of them dying from this disease made he uncontrollably cry just before Adderall. Those were pretty much our parents. Also I had just moved an hour away from our grandparents for financial reasons but I’m willing to make the drive to see them. When my cousin found out I moved originally (before Adderall, but she was starting Vyvanse) she to ld me that upset her because she was going to be moving back up north with Greg (she was currently living in the south) and she wanted to spend time with me. Fast forward to right now. She is now talking about moving to New York to be with this new guy, the third person she has stated is her soul mate in 3 months and when I asked her why it was okay for her to move 17 hours away but when I move one hour away it’s suddenly a problem. Her response was “oh I was only upset because you wouldn’t be around to take care of our grandparents”. I asked her why it was okay I stay put in the Midwest and rot in the sadness and depression my grandparents brought on me (I soak up their emotions being an empath and I have to mentally prepare in order to visit them) but it was okay for her to run away with this guy who she barely knows and live her life? I asked her how I’m supposed to be okay with that? Of course she responded with “well this is my soulmate and twin flame”. I was so excited for her to be moving back to the Midwest with her fiancee Greg, I had already accepted Greg into our family I saw how he balanced her. He was the chill to his crazy. And now she is with a man who is the crazy to her crazy. In my opinion I feel it’s toxic. She has been extremely reckless in the past, as a teenager I feared often I was going to lose my cousin my best friend to one or her poor choices. Then Greg helped her calm down and I no longer worried. I felt she was in safe hands, a safe place. A place where I knew she would grow and be a better person in the long run. Then she began taking Adderall and she came home one day, broke up with Greg out of the blue after 7.5 years together and she laughed at him and his broken heart. She told him to get over it and that she couldn’t handle his negatively. Of course he was negative, she broke his heart, she was no longer the same person. She was mean hearted, angry and vicious. She opted to have her 9 year old dog put to sleep due to a weeping problem her has instead of looking for a way to treat him. She also dumped her second dog onto Greg, claiming it’d be good for Greg to have something to take care of. She loved this dog, she claimed he was her child. Always posting pictures of him, taking about him, fussing over him, etc. And he just left him. Something Pre-adderall her would never ever dream of doing. I have recently adopted a dog, who I see and my child and I could never imagine leaving her. It’s like a mother leaving their child, it’s usually because the mother (as long as putting the child up for adoption in the first place was the case) is being irresponsible and reckless and can’t be bothered with taking care of anything but themselves (poor care included). And when I have approached her about all of this she tells me the same thing. She has been on a spiritual journey. She has awoken. She’s at peace with herself and her past and I wouldnt understand. That she is more powerful than she has ever been and she doesn’t have time for negatively. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like my best friend is dead. My heart is Greg’s heart is broken. I can’t go see my grandparents because she’s living with them until she makes the leap to NY with this “soulmate”. Mind you this soul mate just got out of a serious relationship as well, is an ex herion addict and is also on drugs for his severe ADHD. I tried to talk to him as well and he tells me the same thing… That he is powerful, that he can read minds, that he doesn’t have time for negatively, and that when he was younger he was deemed a genius because of his learning disabilities. He brags and brags about himself. And both of them together do whatever they can to make me feel small and belittle me. With “you wouldnt understand”. Also the very day I met this guy he was already calling me by “ash” which is a nickname (Ashlyn is my name) and telling me he loves me. He would also private message me to talk to me about how perfect my cousin is and his intentions with her are completely pure. It just makes me wonder who he is trying ton convince. I don’t trust him, talking to him makes me sick to my stomach. And when I also approached my cousin about it she said I’m picking up on his past, and he’s an amazing, powerful and inspirational person… Currently my cousin and I are no longer German speaking and I feel the only way I will get her back to her own thought process is if I can convince her to stop taking the Adderall… However she won’t listen to me, the only ones she reports to now is herself and this guy all because they are “twin souls”. So I suppose that means nothing else matters. Oh I forgot to mention she often visits psychic shops and they only affects to her ego of being in tune with the universe and being a powerful spiritual being that is above everyone else. I don’t know what to do.
If anyone has advice or anything please please please feel free in email me at Ashmerlyn1991@gmail.com.
Thank you so much. I’m sorry that was incredibly long I wanted to be as detailed as possible.
Good vibes to you all!
my family member has been percibed aderal for addd he had been taking it for 5 years doctor stoped seeing him because he could not get to office now worried he is getting on street he has been very distant with uncle and I was never like this worried was very close before we live in same house sad about his distantnce worried