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Consider doing this on your own

There was a character in the book Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand’s masterpiece) named Sebastián d’Anconia, grandfather to central character Francisco d’Anconia.

Sebastián d’Anconia was known for the legendary story of how he built d’Anconia Copper, the world’s largest copper mining empire, from scratch.

Sebastián was born in Spain, where he grew up and met his beloved wife. When he had a vision of building the empire that would become d’Anconia Copper, he traveled to America, leaving his love behind in Spain.

He took nothing with him to American but the clothes on his back and the d’Anconia family crest. When he arrived in America, he could only afford to live in a small, wooden shed with a dirt floor, but he propped his family crest against the wall nonetheless.

It took him 15 years to build his copper mining empire from scratch. When he had succeeded, he purchased a sprawling estate, and hung the d’Anconia family crest on the mantle of his mansion. 

Then he sent for his love in Spain. She came to him. She had waited.

I wonder what he said to her before he left.

For what it’s worth, part of me wishes I had possessed the courage to leave the girl I was with when I decided to quit Adderall until I was done rebuilding myself, so I could leave as the guy she already liked, and return as a man 100 times greater, without having to put her through the weakness inbetween.

It would have killed me to do it; would have killed me to stay away. But whenever I missed her it would drive me harder; would remind me to focus on my rebuilding so I could get back to her. Such a decision would have forced me to keep moving forward, as standing still would dishoner and invalidate the excruciating choice I had made. 

But I didn’t do that. I didn’t make that hard decision. I stayed together with her. Tried to maintain a relationship with the greatest, strongest girl I have ever known in the weakest state I had ever been in. Staying together kept me comfortable in one big way, and kept all my focus on trying not to lose her, which in retrospect probably slowed my rebuilding process and certainly wrought havok on the relationship.

Take that for what you will.

8 Responses to “Consider doing this on your own”

  1. Joe says:

    Thank you. That was the smartest thing I’ve read in my entire life. After four years of Adderall abuse I finally told my parents this morning that I need to go to rehab. This only came after my girlfriend and I broke up at the end of summer, and I finally realized yesterday I’m wasting my time still trying to make her be with me. I’m very sick and I know she loves me, but I can’t blame her. I’ve been thinking for the last 24 hours about leaving for treatment, and I really was still in fear of leaving her until just now. Thank you.

  2. Mike says:

    Thanks for your comment, Joe. Congratulations on making such an important decision.

    Good luck in rehab. Come back and post here when you get out. Let everybody who reads this know how you’re doing and what you’ve learned!

  3. Leeloo says:

    Wow I am grateful I didn’t get that bad (clingy) when I quit. I was miserable and lonelyish… SOs seem to peace out ironically when I’m miserable, I’ve noticed, hey probably for the better… I’m glad that I’ve been in enough uneven relationships that I’ve become allergic to rejection, I.e. I tend to choose short term despair rather than risk rejection and this kept me from bugging my new boyfriend who I’m utterly infatuated with and now I’m out of the woods I’m more, not less fun and I am so much happier…

  4. lisa crosby says:

    is it danerous not telling my doctor that i lowered my does of aderal? what side effects will i experience

  5. lisa crosby says:

    is is dangerous to lower aderal without my doctors permission?what kind od side effects will i experience? im feeling tired and out of sorts

  6. Anonymous says:

    is it dangerous to lower your aderal with a doctors approval?

  7. whitney says:

    This reminds me of my relationship, which might be currently ending. Its exquisitely painful, but necessary to enter this battle alone. At least for me.

  8. Rose says:

    I really like it your “Consider doing this on your own” post as compared to your old post because you did awesome work. Please update some more great post as soon. For sale new playground tiles visit http://playgroundtilesuk.co.uk/

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