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Reader Chris Writes a Letter to His Two Best Friends, Asking for Their Support

Reader Chris sent the below letter to his two best friends, asking for their help and support in his quest to quit Vyvanse (similar to Adderall). He sent me a copy, and I thought it was awesome, so I got his permission to post it here for all to see.

Dear Alan & Trista,

What I have to say is important.  Communicating this is something I’ve been wanting to do for some time.  Due to the weight and complexity of its nature, it hasn’t been easy.  I think the best way I can accurately and effectively convey the problem is through writing.  I don’t expect you to understand at first, but read the whole thing before passing any judgement.  I need you guys to understand and I need your support.  I have a problem that I’m discovering I can’t fix on my own, no matter how hard I try and it’s dragging me down. What I’ve done to myself and where I’m at right now disgusts me.  I’ve betrayed myself and my beliefs to levels I never thought I would stoop to and it’s destroying me.

Seven months ago I was prescribed a medication called Vyvanse, a Lisdexamfetamine, used to treat ADD/ADHD.  It’s much like Adderall.  Actually, it’s made by the same company. A (failed) countermeasure to prevent stimulant abuse.  It was designed in a manner that prevents you from abusing it by snorting it, therefor they ignorantly assumed people wouldn’t abuse it.  If anything, the only thing they’ve prevented is destroying your nasal cavity…  I think you see what I’m getting at.

This drug is evil in so many ways.  Above all though, when you really realize it, it feels like being used.  It basically exploited my good intentions.  It warped them and eventually used them against me. Here’s a quote from someone who really helped me see this:

“These drugs like Adderall and Vyvanse are so different from other typical drugs…it’s such a different kind of mentality that uses them. People use most narcotics to escape life. People use Adderall because they want to embrace life and they don’t feel like they can adequately do that on their own. Typical drug use represents self-destruction; Adderall drug use represents an insecurity. Some ways the same; some ways totally different.”

Using this drug at a prescribed level is fine.  There’s a number of dynamics that get in the way of that often though.  For people who have receptive genes to addiction, the risk of starting to abuse them is very high.  The effects of the drug (even at a prescribed level) combined with the fact that’s its a prescription drug create this false mentality of it being ok, at first.  That’s how I slipped into this mess.  It warped my way of thinking.  When you’re on it, you feel as if you have amazing clarity.  Everything and anything you do feels amazing.  You can read about something you normally have no interest in and be fascinated by it.  This, coupled with my thirst for knowledge easily facilitated this addiction.

With this though, also comes many negative side-effects most don’t realize until later.  People get so caught up in how great they feel, they don’t take into account the sleep they’re losing, how little they eat and how much weight they’re losing, what it’s doing to their social life.  I’ve realized all this at one point or another for some time but only in it getting worse, has it started to REALLY sink in and affect me.

Well, it’s gotten to point where things HAVE to change and this change needs to be made NOW.

I’m telling you guys all this because you are my best friends and among people I trust the most.  Not only that, you deserve to know why I’ve been so distant lately, among other things.  I know ultimately, I am the only one who can change this, but like I said before, I need support along the way.  At the very LEAST, please be understanding of this all.  I need a positive enviornment if I’m going to beat this and your understanding and support is pivotal to that.

He added…

Since I told them, so many things have changed for me.  I’ve realized so much about myself and I continue to every day.  It’s not all making sense yet but I wouldn’t even have realized it while I was on that damn drug.

6 Responses to “Reader Chris Writes a Letter to His Two Best Friends, Asking for Their Support”

  1. Chris says:

    Hey Mike,

    I’ve meant to leave a comment sooner but I’ve been quite pre-occupied with various things. I’ve been working on getting back into the groove of life which I had neglected for so very long.

    Twenty-three days sober and counting! I’m still dealing with some minor side effects like jitters and twitching sometimes which can be a bit annoying, but they are slowly getting better.

    Since writing this letter to my friends I have gained the confidence to tell others what I had been so utterly ashamed of with much more ease. Just about all my closest and most respected friends now know of the addiction I struggled with. Most were shocked and surprised but they realized just how determined I am to stay off that crap and have been extremely supportive.

    Most notably, I told one of my very closest friends who is a former meth-addict. We was quite shocked but proud that I was able to beat it. I never really truly understood what he went through when cutting it off cold turkey until now. He kind of alienated himself from a lot of people for sometime due to some pretty wild mood swings and whatnot. He talks about still feeling the after-effects of the drug even after four years of sobriety.

    I don’t know what the future holds for me in terms of that kind of stuff but if anything, it will stand a reminder of what I was doing to myself and why I should NEVER touch it again.

    One final note: Since I’ve stopped using the Vyvanse, I’ve gained 11 pounds and am now up to 134lbs. I’ve been eating a lot healthier than I have in a long time and have been exercising quite a bit.

    Thanks you Mike for this wonderful site (once again… lol) and thank you Lilah for the dietary information!

  2. Mike says:

    Sounds great, Chris. Thanks for posting an update. If you can already feel life getting back on track after just 23 days you’re in good shape. By that point I think the only thing I had noticed was that my sense of humor had started to return.

    Tell your friend that big doses of fish oil are supposed to help lift the fog after meth use.

  3. Katie says:

    I have been on Vyvanse for two months and it has destroyed my normally funloving self. I know it’s different for everyone, but could I have developed a dependency in those two months? I am asking because I stopped two days ago and just started a new job, and am trying to predict how quick I can adjust.

  4. Mike says:

    @Katie

    You could absolutely develop a dependency in 2 months. The good news is that you should be able to readjust after quitting, physically, within about a month. Then give it a few more months for the psychological effects to soften (e.g., wanting it for work), if that’s an issue.

  5. すべての通り、腕時計は小さい不思議な彫刻家の創建アーティストウィラード維岡マイクロ。多くの細い点ともっと見るタイプ片、検査を私達の手で1型の文章はここで。この件が黒くて、彼を飛び出してそれからカードと彼の作品は明らかガラスを通して統合一面を例に、画像上の湖。同協会は明確には間違いない:それはAさんといいました。週知のトリックは、カードは、その魔法のように飛ぶ。 アクアノウティックコピース これは1つの執行はフランスの「激浪派の芸術家に敬礼」ロバート、誰が作った作品としての監督、彫刻家で、と事件のマスター。 http://www.newkakaku.com/lxq8.htm

  6. 色は、この腕時計で新しいことを唯一のものでない:リンデやり直しのダイヤルを持って、5層からなる上部層、さらに白骨化されている。この月のより多くの相は10、11時位置で着用者によって見られるのを許します。また、lwなくなると彼らは合金リンデと呼んでいますが、「航空宇宙材料」を作成しました(または「alw」)。その音は少しあるかもしれない間、リンデによってチタンの半分の重さと鋼の強度が2倍になった。材料は、以前は「無色」の形で使用されているが、リンデの白い背景の上に、光を吸収するとタコの色を変更する方法を模倣することを意図します。我々がどのようにすべての人にこれを翻訳するのを見ます、しかし、それは本当ですが、リンデの商標の角の場合このクールでむしろ衝撃的に見えます、薄い灰色の色。 http://www.eevance.com/News/d9caa6e02c990b0a.html

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