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Rachelle’s Goodbye Letter to Adderall

Dear Adderall.

I am finally free. You are without a doubt the worst thing that has come into my adult life. You are so sneaky. You’ve been so sly. A doctor can prescribe you to anyone at any age.. but has the doctor ever consumed you? If so, would he be so willing to hand you out?

Adderall you try and make people believe that everything comes easy and free. When in reality nothing worthwhile is easy or free. You throw yourself into the center of everything. You’re a control freak. You try to replace God.

At first you were a life saver. The euphoria of finally being able to focus seemed unreal. That’s because it was just that.. not real. The initial rush and energy fade. You crash and depress me. You’ve made me feel countless pains, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet you had a hold. I still purchased you. I felt that I needed you to succeed.

I never needed you. I was always that fun, outgoing girl who could make anyone laugh. I was compassionate and sensitive to those around me. I was smart. I never had a bad grade point average.. in fact I was always above average. Somehow you made me feel like I was suppose to be good at EVERYTHING. Not just multitalented. . I had to excel in everything, or I wasn’t good enough.

You will never control my life again. You are addictive and evil. I will spend the rest of my life being the real “ME”. No matter how hard I may struggle in some areas.. it’s worth it. You know why? Because without you I can feel the breeze. Without you my long run gives me momentum to keep going. Without you every accomplishment makes me feel EDIFIED. Without you I am HAPPY.

 

Sincerely your enemy,

Rachelle

14 Responses to “Rachelle’s Goodbye Letter to Adderall”

  1. Christine says:

    This one made me cry. I’m gonna stop the pills too. Thank you.

  2. Kris says:

    How did you quit?

  3. erika says:

    Fucking beautiful, goose bumps, even though on 60 mlgs… I hope to find it in me to quit for good this time

  4. Anonymous says:

    Loved this. Thanks so much for sharing..

  5. Anon says:

    I’m crying… Feel like I could of been me that wrote this. Rachelle I hope you are doing well and have stuck to what you said in this letter. You’re awesome. I’ve been off it a week and have really been struggling…

  6. Josh says:

    WOW! Speechless!! You stole the words out of my own mouth!!!! Taking Adderall makes us into someone who we are not. I hated it. It helped me in school beyond words, but the negative side effects far outweighed the good….so finally, after a long, hard battle…I quit! I am still recovering, and it can be hard some days….but I will return fully to who I used to be 🙂 If you are reading this and are taking Adderall, run while you still can 😀

  7. Jane says:

    Yes. Just yes.

  8. Nate says:

    …. My heart went THUMP. This is literally me. I feel like I’ll never be good enough…

  9. Anonymous says:

    I can’t do it. I am 47. I take 5 20’s a day or that is what I am prescribed. I am out and its 11 days early. I simply cannot do my life without it. I have a beer drinking age problem and life is a viscous circle of adderal and alcohol. It gives AA a whole new meaning. Somtimes I actually wish I waz dead. I never had a substance abuse problem before Adderal. I f–king hate my life!

  10. Anonymous says:

    This brought me to tears. This resonates with me. After 4 years being a slave to this sly and sneaky pill, im 14 days clean. Ive never felt so alive and will never go back.

    Thank you for sharing!!

  11. Anonymous says:

    So true. Beautiful job writing this. I’m 29 days sober and although it’s been hard, there is no chance I’m going back.

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