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January 1st, 2012 by MikeThanks to John for sending me his awesome goodbye letter to Adderall. Happy Quitting, John!
Dear Adderall,
I find it extremely difficult to find the words to end our relationship. To end the greatness that we made together. In this letter, I will try…
When you came into my life you made me see a side of myself I have never seen before. You made soo many wonderful and great things happen. You were the tool that came into my life, and like a genie, granted every wish I had for myself. I thought life could not get any better.
Then once more you made me see a side of myself that I have also never seen before. This time, however, it was a side of myself I would have been happy to never see. You made me embarrass myself in front of all my friends. I lost so many I cared for. You made me act crazy.
You promised me that it was only once. Only a mishap. Next time would be great again. I would feel wonderful like usual. Again and again instead of wonderful and confident you made me feel scared of people, scared of my closest friends, scared of life, scared of even going outside!
You turned on me… And the worst part is, you lied to me over and over. You told me that if we got together again I would feel great, and that we would be as happy as we once were. I listened to you, I trusted you. I fell for your lies again and again. Watched my social life collapse and distance myself further and further from the expansive social life and confident person I had grown to become used to being. Because of you I watched it, but as if under a spell was helpless to step in and do anything about it.
You were an illusion. You showed greatness for a short time, until I sold my soul to you. Once you had it, you turned me into your slave. You forced me to suffer for you. It almost never got better, as you promised it always would. Adderall, you lied to me one too many times. I’m not falling for it anymore. I don’t know what my life will become without you, but I sure can’t wait to find out. I know that I am strong enough to not need you anymore.
Thanks for showing me what I can be though. Now I’m going to show YOU that I can be that on my own. Without your lies. I’m going to make your illusion my reality. Its time we both moved on. I’m sure you will find someone else to fall in love with you, until you make them come to a realization that opens the door to leaving you and seeing that the greatness in themselves was always there, they just didn’t know it. That’s the only good thing I can say about you anymore with honesty.
As for me, well.., I find my lips slowly forming a small smile as each day passes without you. Little by little, the happiness and REALISM of life is unfolding itself to me without you, and I cannot help but hold my palm to my chin as I smile joyfully and look ahead to what lies in front of me. So many good things to come in my life. Things to see and experience and discover and feel. As the train carries me back into the city from my rehab session, I feel a movement in my body that is not my own, it is the train carrying me home. It is life carrying me forward, forward closer now to the love we all see in occasional glimpses during our life.
In these fractions of our conscious…, a smile between friends who look at each other at the same time, both bonding in sharing the same exact happy feeling at the same moment, the smell of home and the loving warmth of family as you enter the living room during a holiday, the excitement/refreshment of doing something you have never done before! All the things that give us a glimpse of how good a life we actually get to experience, if only for a moment. I feel a close relation of goodness to everyone I have shared contact in life with, somehow I know that everything is going to be okay and that this life is, overall, a beautiful thing to experience.
Looking out over the view of the city ever closer, these good thoughts slowly dissipate in my head as I fight to keep hold of them. I watch the sun dip under the December horizon through train windows and dwell on the tomorrow than I cannot wait to see come.
You obviously did not really need it if it caused you to act that way.
beautiful!
That was well written, and reminds me why I never want to go back to Adderall. It almost ruined my life as well, until I realized my life became unmanagable. I think I will write a letter to adderall as well, thanks!!
Well written, and I can relate. I wanted to quit because I felt like Adderall was really hard on my body and brain, and definately hated the hassle of getting scripts filled, but the wear and tear on my body was the main reason.
How beautiful and real…I love your writing!
fish oils,exercise, and when I am in a rut, the supplement AddieUP that has the natural stimulants and will get you thru the day. I love the Addieup when I get out of bed in a fog and that is when I used to need addies the most.
Jim, you suck! No one likes people who ruin a page for people by avertising useless shit like “addieUP” or “5 hour energy”. This was a cool letter, lets not ruin the message by advertising the same type of shit that people think they need to live their lives. Nice writing whoever wrote the letter anyway..
this letter is truly the best thing i have ever read.
Amazing amazing amazing goodbye adderall
This is beautiful. I love it, and can relate. I’m going through saying goodbye to adderall too, and day by day.. little by little I’m starting to feel like myself again…. and I’m starting to feel genuinly happy again! Adderall gave me a false sense of self… It’s time we find our “true” selves again. Thanks for the beautiful poem!! 🙂
Beautiful! It’s like getting out of an abusive relationship with another person. We all have been there and somehow got over it. Now let’s get over this really abusive boyfriend/girlfriend – ADDERALL!!!
I couldnt sit through reading this article because i forgot to take adderal.
Wow that’s a great letter man. I can relate to it it’s different but it’s about a girl. After reading this it changed my whole prospective. I can live without her. She lied lie after lie and promised me happiness forever and couple days later she leaves me again. Got me down. Thanks man.
Thanks guys. I hoped this letter would help and that people could feel where I was coming from. Looks like alot of people do/could. Thanks again, stay clean!
Thanks guys. I hoped this letter would help and that people could feel where I was coming from. Looks like alot of people do/could. Thanks again, stay clean!
I love my addedrall. I wouldn’t have passed the NCLEX without it. Ha!
Jennifer, yea….everybody loves it at first. But if you paid attention to this letter or ANY of the other posts on this website, you will see that it becomes an addiction that fucks you over in the end. However, if you think you are the exception and that Adderall will always work great for you, congrats and good luck.
Thank you for this!
You are truly talented!! At least in writing i can tell. Don’t let anything control you again. God bless you.