Adderall Receives Honorary Degree From Harvard [NEWS]
June 1st, 2010 by MikeAwesome parody article over at The Onion. Here’s my favorite exerpt…
Jill Haskins, who received a Ph.D. in history payday loans online Thursday, spoke rapidly to reporters as she explained in excruciating detail how Adderall had heavily influenced her dissertation, “A Hermeneutic Deconstruction Of Nazi Feminism As A Function Of Gender-Role Exploitation In Vichy France: Multiple Perspectives.”
Said Haskins, twitching uncontrollably, “Can I have a drink of water now?”
“If this amphetamine compound has shown us anything, it’s that you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to for 19 uninterrupted hours at a time”
Haha
It’s never enough time though, is it?
@Tyler
lol. So true. Never enough time. Then you quit and all of a sudden there’s too much time.
Hi Mike,
I’m on day 6 of quitting after 5 years of habitual use and a daily dosage of up to 150mg. I’ve gotten past the skin crawling, sweating and suicidal thoughts phase. Now I’m just trying to keep off the junk and not get fired from my high stress job. My girlfriend is providing great support, wish me luck.
@Kevin,
You’re past the hardest part (physically)! Couple more weeks and your body will be officially over the chemical addiction. Then it’s time to go to war with your mental hang ups. On the job: if you get in a pinch, scale back responsibility if at all possible. Like I’ve mentioned before: I slid from Lead Developer to lowly customer service rep, but I’m much more sane for it.
Be sure to thank your girlfriend for being great…that way it’ll reinforce the behavior haha. Good luck.
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